


You Will Always Be Here With Me

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Series: Random Haikyuu aus [9]
Category: Given (Anime), Haikyuu!!
Genre: AtsuHina, First Love, Given AU, Going with the flow, Hinata plays the guitar, KageHina - Freeform, KageHina Week, M/M, Music, Tragedy, atsumu teaches him how, based off twitter pics, dont kill me for what happens, i swear i'm bad for these ships, spoilers for chapter 387
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 34,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23139919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: When Hinata first heard the sound of the guitar playing, he knew he could never turn away from this angel of music named Miya Atsumu.When Kageyama Tobio loses the ability to hear any more music and sound, he comes across springtime itself, dragging him out of the darkness he called his world.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Semi Eita/ Kageyama Miwa, possible Kuroo/Iwaizumi
Series: Random Haikyuu aus [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634083
Comments: 34
Kudos: 93
Collections: Kagehina Week 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I contribute this to the fandom for KageHina Week even though I wrote it a while back since its about music.
> 
> So I saw a picture of Twitter suggesting what would happen if Atsumu were to be Yukki from Given and thought I should give it a go at writing it. Had a bit of trouble in trying to make sure the characters didn't stray too far from their original personalities but some things had to be changed I guess so don't murder me about it!
> 
> Just going to test to see how this turns out. May be a short multi-chapter but we'll see.

The world was too silent without him.

He wanted to hear those words one more time from him.

He needed to hear them before they disappear from his mind forever.

Already he was beginning to forget his laugh, the ghost of his lips against his, the feeling of being wrapped in strong arms and swung through the air.

_Shouyou. Shouyou. I will always love ya, you know that?_

As he sank through the darkness of grief and misery, a single hand took him back into the light in the form of a boy with dark hair and blue eyes the colour of the midnight sky, a scowl on his face that seemed to make him look unsuitable for the role of a person meant to create music.

Maybe it was because his emotions came out in the music he created.

As Hinata’s fingers ran across the strings of his guitar, the instrument slightly too big for him as he tried to do last-minute tunings, he could see himself staring at the new boy who had entered his life when he thought he had lost it all.

...

Hinata thought his life had always been pretty shitty. He was born too short for any sort of contact sports, he didn’t have the best grades and brains in things. But what he did have was a loud laugh, wide smile and wits, and that was what brought him to Miya Atsumu.

It was by chance he was playing basketball in the gym during lunchtime one day. Even though he was short, people often asked him to play for them since he was always bouncing with energy on the court, springing from one side to another with ease. Some even jokingly said that if he could grow about a head taller, he would be able to make it onto the team no probs. Hinata despaired at the idea of that, having had barely grown any more than 10 centimetres since he enterer junior high and was contented to continue playing on the court during break times when he heard a single note strum through the air.

He turned his head to the sound, the shouts of players on the court fading into the background as a slow melody began to fill his ears. His feet began to carry him to the double doors leading to the back of the gym, his hand opening the door to reveal a large gazebo. Hinata had no idea that such a place existed in the school, the gazebo made out of pale white and covered by creeping plants around it.

In the middle of it sat a boy with blonde hair, his eyes closed as he hummed a melody, his fingers playing to it as Hinata’s heart hammered.

What was this feeling?

The boy finished playing to look up at Hinata, a bit surprised he had an audience standing before him.

‘Eh, I thought I would be able to get some peace and quiet here but guess it doesn’t hurt to have someone listening to me play once in a while,” he sighed as he set his guitar on the table in the middle. The instrument was a dark red, nearly the colour of blood, the strings worn from having been played too many times and the surface of the guitar scratched from too much use. As the clouds above move to illuminate light onto the musician, Hinata’s heart hammered at how breathtaking he looked.

“So, what brings you here, chibi-chan? I don’t assume you’re playing basketball with those guys back there in the gym eh?”

Somehow, Hinata had all thoughts of ever wanting to play any sports disappearing from his mind, now replaced with new ones of creating music with this boy. His lips parted as he took a breath before bowing low to him, nearly jerking the guy out of his seat as he yelled with such ferocity that other guys from the gym were beginning to poke their heads out at the commotion.

“Um, can you teach me how to play the guitar?”

The boy stared dumbfounded at him for a moment, his mouth opened in an O before opening for him to laugh. Hinata was surprised as he wheezed, trying not to hit his guitar as he finally managed to gather himself together.

“Oh… is this supposed to be a date then?”

…

Miya Atsumu turned out to be one of the weirdest yet most interesting people Hinata had ever met. The boy had grown up in Hyogo with his twin brother, who was a player on the volleyball team at their school, which explained why he had such a weird accent. At times, Hinata found himself wondering what the heck he was trying to tell him especially with chords and stuff, but Hinata found himself being drawn to him more and more with his voice and his music.

After an accident that injured his knee, Atsumu had been forced to quit volleyball and in the process of trying to occupy himself, he found love with music. Ever since then, he had been trying to create music or playing it in his spare time, searching for the one song that would fill his empty heart that had been left by volleyball.

The longer he spent with him, the more Hinata began to feel they weren’t so different after all.

Both of them couldn’t play sports because of a reason.

Both of them had been brought together by music.

As Hinata fell deeper into the rabbit hole that was Atsumu, he realized he had gone beyond friendship at this point.

When Atsumu first admitted that he thought he was cute, Hinata thought he would combust and die from the idea of them dating when he gathered him in his arms and kissed him gently, only pulling away to smile at him with his hooded eyes.

“Hey, Shouyou. Would you date me?”

Their world revolved around each other even more since then, both of them spending time trying to create music and finding their place on the stage. The two of them became a pair to be reckoned with on the stage, Hinata learning how to play the guitar to accompany Atsumu as he sang. Atsumu’s voice was angelic despite how his brother had described it as annoying; it was pure and sweet, unbound by any sort of sin from the world. Atsumu didn’t hold back on his words, singing songs from his heart of what he truly felt.

Hinata thought they would be unstoppable as the Fox and the Crow, when tragedy struck.

In a freak accident, Atsumu lost sensation in his hands. He could not longer pluck the guitar strings, couldn’t even feel his fingers pressing onto the cold metal and wooden surface of his guitar. While his doctor told him he would recover, he would never be able to play the guitar as well as he used too.

Even as Hinata held onto his hand, waiting for him to wake up from consciousness after the accident, the first thing that he had told him was he couldn’t feel the soft pads of his fingers touching his. His words nearly broke Hinata’s heart and no matter how much he tried to tell him everything would be alright, he knew things would never be the same again.

With both the things he loved taken away from him, Atsumu became a shadow of his former self. Even as Hinata tried to stay by his side and support him, he could never quite get the boy who was once a bundle of energy and laughter, his face now devoid of any emotion or laughter. No matter how Hinata tried to make him smile, Atsumu never did managed to smile again.

It was about three months after the accident when things began to turn sour. Hinata could no longer stand the fact that Atsumu didn’t want to be around anyone, didn’t appreciate all the time Hinata had spent with him. As much as Hinata loved him, he couldn’t bear to see his boyfriend in so much pain and despair even though he tried to make things right.

“Hey, Atsumu. Do you think we should take a break from this?”

Atsumu had looked up from his pillow, both of them having laid on the bed for several hours without speaking and finally turned to face one another. Atsumu’s eyes were red from the constant crying he had been doing, his cheeks sunken from the lack of food and his eyes nearly drained from any emotion.

“I don’t know what I can do at this point. I lost everything.”

“But you still have me, right?” Hinata didn’t want him to say the words, he didn’t want to be denied that he might have taken a backseat in everything that happened.

“If you want to leave me, you can do that. I don’t have anything to lose anymore after all.”

Hinata couldn’t take it anymore as he grabbed his wrists, pulling him up into a sitting position as he yelled, “Why don’t you look at me? I’m here for you! I’m trying to help you get better so why don’t you even see me as someone who cares for you?!”

“I don’t know! For all I know, you might leave me!”

“Why do you think I would even leave you, you dumbass?!”

“Because I’m tying you down with everything that has happened so far! With me being this emotional wreck, you can’t go about your life! Your life is revolving around mine now. So please… Shouyou.. please…” Atsumu whispered as he balled his fists into Hinata’s shirt before putting his head against his shoulder, wet tears soaking through it as he said, “Please leave me be.”

…

Hinata didn’t speak to Atsumu after that. When he came to class, the other boy wasn’t there either and when he asked Osamu on how he was, he said that Atsumu was holed up in his room. Hinata felt his heart clenched at the thought of not being by Atsumu’s side but after the spat they had, he felt he couldn’t go back there for a while.

Days turned to weeks and Hinata felt the pain in his chest growing more and more. He yearned to be by Atsumu’s side, both of them bickering about what kind of song to compose or just being together in each other’s arms. He wanted to be there for him and let him use him in any way to make himself better; if only he would let him do so.

Finally, Hinata decided to stop by the Miya’s house, skipping school for the day to go. He pulled out the spare key from his pocket he never quite managed to give back to Atsumu, the clicking sound of the door opening filling the empty corridor as he excused himself, slipping off his shoes to walk inside. The house was eerily empty, the hallway dark despite it being day and the staircase squeaking as he walked upstairs to Atsumu’s room.

He stopped outside of it, his hand raised to knock on it when he felt something was very wrong with this picture.

“Atsumu?” Hinata called as he reached to open the door, the door creaking as it cracked open. Cans of beer littered the ground, the air thick with sweat and alcohol before Hinata’s eyes turned to the ceiling.

That was when everything in Hinata’s world shattered.


	2. Chapter 2

The red guitar reminded him of the day he lost everything.

No matter where he tried to hide it, no matter how much he wanted to put it away out of his sight, he would always put it against the wall of his room where he could see it, haunting him every day as he tried to move on.

He doesn’t think he would ever move on.

When he saw Atsumu’s lifeless body hanging from the ceiling of his bedroom, he had stood there staring for hours. When he finally did manage to come to his senses, he gave a call to Osamu to tell him to come back immediately before climbing onto the chair that Atsumu had kicked to the ground, slowly unwinding the tie from his neck. When his fingers touched Atsumu’s cold skin, he couldn’t help but feel that this wasn’t a nightmare.

His face was an angelic as it always was, albeit a bit pale. His lips were turning blue from the lack of oxygen, his hooded eyelids closed, shielding his beautiful eyes from Hinata’s sight. Hinata wanted to gaze into them one more time, seeing his own reflection in those orbs as their owner told him how much he loved him. He wanted to press his lips to those cold blue ones one more time and feel the warmth they once radiated as he pulled him against him, lighting a small fire in his stomach.

Atsumu was gone.

Atsumu was gone.

Why was Atsumu gone?

He sat on the floor of the bedroom, cradling Atsumu’s body when his brother finally burst in, horrified at what lay in front of him. his twin was lifeless in his lovers arms, the room mixed with the scent of the shampoo he used and the smell of alcohol that probably led him to do what he did. Osamu could only move to inform his parents of the news before returning to his brother’s side to break into tears, Hinata rocking in a foetal position as hell broke loose around him.

He didn’t know how many times he told the police of his tale.

He didn’t know why they were making him go through the pain of having to retell everything.

The lights of the police station were still blinding his eyes as he sat there for what must have been the entire night, unable to leave until he was proven innocent. Despite the evidence that Atsumu had killed himself, Hinata had been the one who found him and they wanted to make sure that he was clean from it.

The drive back to his home was the longest car ride in his life.

When the police car finally pulled up at the Hinatas house, Hinata could only get out from his seat, his mother running towards him with worry on why he had arrived in such a state. Natsu hung around at the door, her face sleepy from having stayed up past her bedtime waiting for her brother to return.

Hinata felt like all the strings had been cut from him, his mind shattered as he wandered into his room as the police told his mother what had happened. He walked past Natsu without saying anything, heading to his room where he promptly collapsed on his bed. His hand moved to his pocket, reaching for his phone and dialling the familiar number in. Even as the person on the other end spoke onto the line, Hinata felt his heartbreak as he realized that this was indeed the reality he had been given.

“Shouyou, please… Sumu is gone.”

“Osamu-san… I… I’m…”

“Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong. That idiot brother of mine… I should have realized something was wrong with him. I was his twin. No, I am his twin… I am…” Osamu, the twin who never once broke under any stress or havoc wreaked on his life by his brother finally broke into tears on the other side.

“I’m sorry, Shouyou. I couldn’t protect him.”

_No… I was the reason he did that. I should have stayed by his side instead of breaking away from him._

_I’m a murderer…_

_I’m a murderer._

As Hinata ended the call to Osamu sobbing on the other end, he let his phone fall onto the bed before burying his face into the pillow, letting his emotions take over him in a wave as he let out the tears he had been hiding inside for so long.

…

Both of Hinata’s name had something to do with the sun; sunshine, the place where the sun shines, much like his orange hair that Atsumu had once called the light of his world.

Now, he felt like he was being sucked into a black hole.

He didn’t want to go to school. Everywhere in it reminded him of Atsumu; the gazebo where they played together, the classroom where they would sit for lunch, the rooftop of the building where they would lean into each other and enjoy each other’s company until the bell rang for classes to begin.

He couldn’t bear to go back to where everything reminded him of Atsumu.

While Osamu coped with his loss by playing volleyball, even more, every time Hinata looked at the guitar, it made his stomach squirm at how he was around to play it but Atsumu wouldn’t be there to watch him play. For so long he had wanted the two of them to take to the world stage, performing for everyone to see and showing that anyone could take flight.

The guitar now haunted his mind day and night.

Hinata had locked away his guitar in the storeroom of his house, unable to look at it. Whenever he heard music playing in the background, he would flinch at how he must have heard Atsumu play it at some point in their lives, making him wish he could hear him play it once more.

Then, Atsumu’s mother had given him the guitar.

_“Osamu couldn’t bear to look at it. It hurts him to remind him of his brother. Shouyou, I think Atsumu would have liked you to have it. He always did say he got it in this shade because it reminded him of you.”_

Why?

Why did Atsumu have to go?

He had everything; talent, looks and love.

Hinata didn’t have any of those qualities. He was just a boy with a big personality to make up for his short height and sad amount of brains.

A month later, he moved to a different school, unable to cope with the emptiness his old school halls gave him. After Atsumu’s death, Hinata had been plagued by nightmares to the point he had been sent for counselling. His counsellor recommended him to move to a new place, to see the new sights and get away from everything that had happened.

So that’s how he found himself in Karasuno High School.

It wasn’t exactly a well-known school, obscure enough that people wouldn’t have recognized him from his days on the stage as a musician. The Fox and the Crow duo had been well known across the prefecture and Atsumu would have been able to sign a music contract soon if he had continued playing. Hinata’s heart clenched at the thought as he walked into the school, his new uniform a bit itchier than he would like as he stepped into the new hallways.

It was about the same size as his old school and they even had a volleyball team that was once a powerhouse that had earned the nickname of “Flightless Crows” after falling out of the running for representatives of Miyagi. Hinata didn’t have any plans to join it though; he just wanted to lead a quiet high school life and made sure he could get over his loss.

The classes weren’t any more fun either. Hinata found himself nearly falling asleep when the teacher talked, his mind wandering as he tried to focus. His classmates would try and chat up with him and while he did return some smiles and gestures of playing basketball, he couldn’t bear himself to hang out with anyone else.

He didn’t want to lose anyone dear to him anymore.

During the lunch break, he found himself exploring the school. People milled about their classrooms, most eating lunch with their friends or just doing their own thing. Hinata caught sight of some students playing football in the empty space below, kicking up the dust as they raced for the ball. As Hinata turned the corner to the staircase, he found himself going higher and higher until he reached the top of the staircase, the door slightly opened when he heard a gentle tune filling the air.

The melody was strong and sure, the musician striking each chord with feeling and assurance that made Hinata’s heart skip a beat. His world had become very monotone after Atsumu’s death. He couldn’t make out the sound of the air anymore, nor could any amount of music heal his heart. The more he heard music, the more he felt old wounds tearing open. So he bottled everything up inside, sealing away the emotions that had once been a part of him

Slowly, he pressed a hand on the door and with a gentle push, the door creaked open to reveal a large space. The wind had picked up a little as Hinata covered his face with a free hand, the sun shining high above him with a few stray clouds dotting the sky. As he let his hand fall to his side, music continued to ring through the air, his eyes falling on a figure seated with their back against the wall of the fence, his eyes closed as he focused on his playing.

He reminded Hinata of Atsumu’s playing.

He had the same air of confidence and surety when he played, focused entirely on his playing that he didn’t notice it when he walked towards him. His mouth was pulled in a soft smile, completely tuned in to his music as his fingers flew across the strings. When he finally did open his eyes, it took him a while to realize Hinata was standing there and when he looked up, Hinata was met with eyes as dark as the midnight sky, eyes that turned hard when the boy realized he had been watched.

“What do you want?” he asked as Hinata waved his hands in front of him, now just realizing that he was probably looking like an idiot as he said, “I was just wandering around here and heard your playing. It's really nice.”

The boy rubbed the back of his head, a small blush creeping on his cheeks as he murmured, “Thanks, although I purposely came all the way up here to avoid being seen.”

“Why though? Your playing is nice, although you might want to smile more so you don’t look like you’re trying to send someone to hell with your music.”

“I… I don’t look that menacing!”

“You do!” Hinata snorted as the boy scowled even more.

“Well, whatever. I don’t really care about how my face looks. It's not like I have the time to bother with what people think of me anyway,” he groaned as he reached to tuck the guitar away in his bag. The instrument was a sleek dark blue, its edges worn from having been knocked about and the strings thin from playing too much. The boy hoisted the bag over his shoulders, signalling that he was going to head back to class when Hinata blurted out.

“Um, what's your name?”

The boy turned around to stare a bit, his eyes making Hinata’s heart skip as he sighed, “Kageyama Tobio, 1st year class 3. You?”

“Hinata Shouyou, 1st year, class 1. I just transferred here today.”

“Oh. Well, I hope you like Karasuno,” Kageyama murmured, rubbing the back of his neck before turning to open the door when Hinata blurted out again.

“Um, can I come and watch you play again?”

He didn’t know why, but he wanted to hear Kageyama play some more.

It was as though he finally caught a ray of light in his dark world.

All he had to do was catch it.

“Sure, why not?”


	3. Chapter 3

It turns out that Kageyama Tobio had a lot of things in common with Hinata than he thought he would like.

Kageyama wanted to play volleyball at a point in his life, but when he found his calling in music, he decided to go for that instead.

He liked to eat a lot, especially meat buns and milk.

He loved angst music and rock.

He was also in a band and pretty popular.

Now that Hinata thought about it, he might have seen him a couple of times in some gigs he and Atsumu ventured to but he never did stick around in the same band due to certain issues.

After Hinata did some digging, turned out he had a bad reputation of working with others and had a falling out with one of the bands called “Seijoh” when he yelled at his bandmates for not being able to catch up with him. Kageyama’s playing was one of a kind where he would play according to his feelings and it still felt right, making it impossibly for others to play along to his tune.

So when the time came for them to perform, when Kageyama struck the first chord, only silence was heard from the rest of his bandmates who had decided they had enough of him.

The King of the Court. That’s what the music community calls him.

The genius who is leagues above the others, never waiting for others to catch up and only wanting to conduct people to his tune.

In other words, a solo player.

Which was weird since he had managed to find himself another band that Hinata had never heard of that consisted of a couple of third-year students from different schools.

“Eh? That’s not exactly a bad nickname you know, being called the King of the Court,” Hinata mused as Kageyama struck a chord a bit too loudly.

“Hey, if you dare bring that up one more time, I’m going to kick your ass. Why did you even dig up information on me anyways?’

“You were pretty good so I thought you might be in a band or something.”

“That’s pretty much being a stalker.”

Hinata snickered as Kageyama finished playing, reaching for his daily milk and poking the straw through the hole. His face looked serene as he sucked on it, bliss overcoming his features as he drained the packet before setting it back down on his side.

“Well, what brings you to Karasuno at this time of year? It's nearly the end of the term and all. Your folks had to move for work or something?”

Hinata didn’t answer so Kageyama decided to drop the topic, instead shifting to tune his guitar.

One thing Hinata also realized about Kageyama was that he sucked at making small talk.

“You seem to know a lot about how bands work and stuff. Are you in a band?”

  
“Used to be, but not anymore.”

“Band trouble? It's hard to find a good one these days. I’m just glad I’ve managed to park myself with these guys for now.”

As he watched Kageyama tune his guitar, he wished he could reach out and strike a chord once more, making music from his own fingers instead of having to rely on someone else to play for him. He missed being able to play but if he were to try it now, he felt like he would only be hearing static in his ears.

But when Kageyama played, it was the only time his ears managed to pick up any notes.

“If you want, you can come and check out our band. While we’re mainly doing instrumental since we can’t sing for shit, we could use another guitarist. You look like you’ve played quite a bit,” Kageyama said before blurting, “Ah, I don’t mean to be staring at your hands or anything, it's just that I noticed that they are quite callused and all, that’s all.”

Hinata giggled internally at how flustered Kageyama looked about it as he looked at his fingers. They were indeed a bit rough around the edges; the pads of his fingers were thick from having pressed onto strings for hours at a time and a couple of scars on his hands were from having scraped across broken wire or something else.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I’m up for it.”

Hinata wished he could step back into the scene, but he didn’t want to be playing when Atsumu couldn’t do it.

So why was he wishing Kageyama would invite him into his band?

…

_“Band?” Hinata wondered as Atsumu leaned on his desk, his butt inching a bit too close to his face for comfort as he smirked his sly smirk. That look always made Hinata’s skin crawl from how sexy he looked and how much it annoyed him into submission. Osamu had said he took after the sly foxes of the wild and was an untamable beast that was finally tamed by Hinata._

_“Just the two of us. It would be good if we have someone playing the drums and bass but we may have to make do for the two of us now. I can teach you how to play the guitar and then I can do the singing. What do you say?” he grinned as Hinata huffed._

_  
“You just want to be in one to hog all the glory don’t you?”_

_“Eh? You wound me, Shouyou. I want_ us _to have the glory together. I dragged you into this life, and I’m going to make sure you have a hell of a time in it,” he grinned before bending his head to knock his forehead against Hinata. Hinata grinned as Atsumu gave him a peck on the lips, sealing their fate as he sighed, “Fine. But you’re going to be dealing with all the proceedings of how to set it up.”_

_“No problem, Shouyou. Leave it to me.”_

_Atsumu turned out to be a pretty good manager and soon they were in full swing of getting gigs and performing. While Hinata had been worried about how they were going to do it on their own, their little duo soon became quite well know in the music scene, with Atsumu drawing the crowd in with his voice._

_“Eh? You want to write a song for me?” Hinata whined as he sat on Atsumu’s bed while the other boy sat on the ground, paper scattered around him as he snickered._

_“Hell yeah. About time I do one for you. I tried to do one for Osamu but the only thing I could think about was how to call him a dick in various different ways.”_

_“Its embarrassing though,” Hinata groaned as Atsumu laughed, reaching to give his hand a stroke before pulling him on top of him._

_“Oh really?”_

…

Hinata jerked out of his thoughts, having just realized that he was the only one in his class. He sighed as he proceeded to zip up his bag, dreading the homework he would have to do for his biology class when he remembered soft humming in his mind. His mouth opened into a small O as he began to hum, his soft breath echoing across the room as he sang.

“La la, lala. Lala, lalala. La la, la la. La la, lala la. Lala, lala. Lala, la la. La la. La la. La la. La la.”

As Hinata drew breath he felt something staining his cheek as he reached to touch his face. His heart was pounding as he realized he was crying, his hand moving to wipe it away when he heard someone whisper.

“What the hell was that?”

Hinata turned to see Kageyama standing at the door, his hand clutching the door as he looked on at him. The look on his face told Hinata that he had overheard him singing and he felt his face began to grow hot as he blurted, “I wasn’t singing or anything. I was just humming something to myself when I was packing. If you would excuse me..”

Hinata grabbed his bag to race out of the door, choosing to run out of the other as Kageyama shouted after him.

“Oi, boke! Wait a minute!”

Hinata stopped as Kageyama grabbed his wrist, swinging him around to make him face him. Hinata tried not to sweat at how close they were, his heart racing from trying to get away from him and having been heard singing something random when Kageyama yelled, “Will you join my band?!”

…

Kageyama Tobio was a musical genius.

From the moment he learned how to play the guitar, he had never stopped producing his music, taking in instructions easily and finding ways to create music that convey the emotions stored in his heart. As a person who didn’t know how to express himself well, he found it easier to express it through his playing and let the crowd interpret what he was thinking through his songs.

That didn’t work with bands, though.

As social beings, humans always tried to understand one another, even if one of them finds it difficult to do the same.

“Hey, Kageyama! Can you stop going off a tangent whenever you’re playing? We can’t even keep up with the beat since you’re all over the place!” Kindaichi yelled as Kageyama took a swig of water. They were just about to wrap up their practice for the day and Kageyama was already at his limit.

“Just play according to how I play.”

“How the hell you expect me to play when your tempo is completely off and matches whatever is going on in your brain?! My brain can’t keep up with what you’re thinking!”

“Then think faster! Move faster! Keep up with me! Unless you want us to look like idiots during the gig, you better follow my lead!” Kageyama yelled as Kindaichi snarled, his hand clenching around his guitar when Kunimi whispered, “Koutarou, don’t.”

Kageyama had been with Seijoh for a while now and he had finally managed to bring them to a respectable level in the music world. While Kindaichi was able to play the guitar well, he wasn’t quick enough to adjust to Kageyama’s tune and Kunimi was a bit… emotionless and never said how he felt about the band’s playing during practice.

Once he manages to reach a higher level, once he wins the competition, he would be able to reach greater heights.

That was until his band left him.

The sound of the chord striking his heart felt like a dagger being run through him. A king being run through with a sword by his own soldiers, betrayed on the court as they faced the final battle. He was left there to die, the silence dropping onto him like a black shroud of death, covering him and pulling him away from the world of the living as he spiralled into the darkness.

He didn’t make it to the end of the competition.

They didn’t manage to win a contract with some of the best music producers in the country.

Kageyama lost his chance for victory.

He felt the world dim around him, the music he loved disappearing around him until his world became silent. He could no longer hear the music he played, no matter how much he tried.

No matter what he did, he couldn’t generate any song.

He thought his career as a musician would be over until a guy called out to him on the street after a failed solo gig one day. Kageyama had felt so wiped out at how badly he had performed that day, the music sounding off and wrong in his ears that he was surprised he even managed to hear the guy calling.

“Hey, you’re Kageyama Tobio right?” the guy asked as Kageyama eyed him. The guy looked a few years older than him and must still be in highs school, although he sported a nose ring and a piercing in his lip. His skin was tan and his biceps were thick from having done a lot of workout in the gym. His hair spiked up from all ends, although the guy that followed after him looked like he had rolled out of bed and never managed to get his hair back in working order.

“Oya oya oya? What do we have here, Iwaizumi?” the new guy purred as Iwaizumi sighed. His companion was tall and lanky, his fingers long like a pianist and the smirk on his face making Kageyama want to punch him if he was going to continue wasting his time.

“Shut it Kuroo. I just wanted to ask him something,” Iwaizumi sighed as he held out a hand.

  
“I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, this is my fellow bandmate and the bass of the band, Kuroo Tetsurou. We’re in a bit of a pinch now since our bandmate left when he got a girlfriend and decided she was better than us with our gig happening in about a week.”

“Damn that Daishou. I’m going to shove a snake up his asshole so high that he wouldn’t be able to do anything with Mika-chan,” Kuroo growled as Hajime yanked his ear to shut him up.

“As you can see, our bandmate was an asshole but that’s aside the point. Would you be able to join our band as a substitute until we get a new member? I’m sorry to spring this out of the blue, but we need you.”

Kageyama ended up staying on the band. Even though they hadn’t named themselves, they had been going by the name of Sweiden Adlers (because it was in English and it sounded cool, according to Kuroo) for their gigs and it kinda stuck. Kageyama wasn’t too bothered about it since he wasn’t playing at his best now.

His music still sounded weird and he didn’t know what to do about it. He could feel himself getting pulled under the water more and more, the water blocking out his sound as he tried to desperately play when he heard the sound of an angel singing in an empty classroom one day.

Hinata Shouyou had been a weird person who came crashing into his life one day. He thought the boy was odd to have transferred to Karasuno at such a weird time in the year but didn’t ask him any questions since it was none of his business. It was when Hinata began to reveal info about Kageyama’s reputation in the music business when he began to realize they might have more in common than he thought.

Hinata didn’t speak a word about whether he could play the guitar or sing, but judging from his hands, which were riddled with calluses and scars, he must have worked hard on it until something made him stop. Kageyama felt curious about this boy, who looked like he was hiding a lot of emotion behind his eyes that were dull, as though he had lost meaning in life.

Its nearly the same feeling Kageyama himself was feeling.

So when he heard Hinata sing aloud, he felt music reaching his ears for the first time in ages as he reached out to grab it, wanting to hear more of it.

“Hinata, will you join my band?!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With classes being cancelled and studying going into pandemonium, got a bit more time to write so here is the next chapter. 
> 
> What do you guys think about these guys being in a band together? Just had to put Kuroo and Iwaizumi in because of a picture I saw on Pinterest and I was like yep, Iwaizumi on the drums is hot.

“No,” Hinata whispered, not taking even a second to think as Kageyama gaped at him.

“Eh?”

“Sorry, but I don’t think I can join your band.”

“But… ah… I mean I know its super random and all but give me a chance to explain myself. I know we can be a bunch of douchebags, well, Kuroo at least can be a bit of an asshole with his grin and Iwaizumi might be a bit brash when it comes to trying to manhandle him, but I think we’re a good band.”

Hinata had merely stared at the floor, not wanting to look at Kageyama into the eye. His heart was racing at the response, surprised at how fast he had even rejected the invitation as he reached to curl his hand onto his black jacket.

“Sorry, I can’t,” he whispered before turning to run down the corridor, not caring as a teacher yelled for him to stop. He ran down the stairs, his feet nearly sliding out from under him at how fast he was running, grabbing his shoes and slipping them on before dashing out.

Why?

Why?

Why did he feel like he had just made the biggest mistake of his life?

The next day, he didn’t dare to face Kageyama, choosing to hide away in the classroom in his desk. For the first time in about two weeks, he had gone without hearing any sort of music and already he was beginning to feel the claustrophobic effects of it. The silence of the world wrapped around him in a thick blanket, fogging his mind as remnants of Atsumu’s voice filled the back of his mind.

_“Shouyou, do you miss my music?”_

“Oi, Hinata-kun. Are you alright?” a voice asked as a girl stood in front of him, her worried face framed with blonde hair as he smiled. She was pretty cute; her hair was tied in a ponytail on the right side of her head, her brown eyes filled with a bit too much worry than he thought the situation entailed.

“Ah, sorry. Just thinking of something.”

“Ah, but you look so… sad.”

Hinata didn’t make a remark on that as she blanched, begging for mercy for butting into his business when she didn’t know much about him. All of her words sailed above his head, Hinata’s mind instead turning to a certain black-haired boy playing music with the sky high above his head.

…

“Are?” Kageyama muttered as he leaned against the fence, his guitar long forgotten in his hands as he stared up at the sky.

This was the first time he had felt so alone on the roof.

The main reason he had escaped here was to get away from any prying eyes or people who just wanted to annoy the heck out of him by asking him to play some songs for them. Now, he wished for a certain orange-haired boy to be sitting by his side, leaning against his side in silence as he played, the silence between them comfortable even though Kageyama could tell that he was enjoying his music.

He wanted to play for Hinata so badly.

“Argh, what the heck is wrong with me?” he groaned as he ran a hand through his hair, his mind already having lost track of what he wanted to play when the bell rang, signalling that he had to go back to class. He sighed, thinking of his precious practice time being lost, slinging his bag over his back before heading down. As he headed to class, he passed by Hinata’s, his head automatically turning to look for the other to see Hinata chatting to a girl, her face pulled in worry as she bowed in apology while Hinata smiled.

Why did he feel so turned off about Hinata chatting with a girl? It wasn’t any of his business.

The whole interaction didn’t leave his mind the entire afternoon until class ended. Kageyama nearly snapped his pen in half as he tried not to think about Hinata, his teacher having had to call out to him several times during his English class as his class laughed around him.

“Kageyama-kun, please listen to the class. Do you want to fail your test again.”

“We’re Japanese people. Why should we learn English to begin with?” he groaned as the teacher gave up entertaining him, his classmates giggling for a bit before continuing with the class. Kageyama was known to be very brash in his words and not caring what others thought about him, which had led to people thinking he was a bit more aloof than he actually was.

“Oi, King. If you’re going to say something like that, you’re going to actually get detention by the teacher is you’re not careful,” Tsukishima, a lanky kid who seemed to find it very amusing to annoy the heck out of him at every opportunity. For some reason, he seemed to have caught on about him having a bad rep in the music industry as well, using the nickname he loathed every single time he talked to him.

“Shut up,” Kageyama grunted as he reached to grab his guitar as Tsukishima laughed.

“Well, not like a King likes to be told what to do,” he grinned as his friend, Yamaguchi paled.

“Tsukki, don’t annoy Kageyama like that. He might seriously punch you one day.”

“Shut it, Yamaguchi. He doesn’t have the balls to do that.”

“Sorry, Tsukki.”

As the two boys headed out of the classroom, Kageyama groaned as he finally stood up to grab his guitar. He pulled out his phone to check the time, praying he would be able to have time to make it to the studio when his thoughts went to back to Hinata. Groaning to himself, he found himself making his way to class 1 to find the orange-haired boy still seated at his desk, his hand propped under his chin as he stared out of the window. The curtains fluttered around him, the sun shining on his hair to make him seem even brighter than he normally was, Kageyama gulping as he rapped his knuckles on the door.

“Oi, Hinata,” he said as Hinata turned to look at him. Kageyama gulped when he saw how sad the boy looked, his brown eyes filled with sadness as Kageyama sighed.

“I just want to tell you that my offer still stands. I’m actually headed there right now so you can come with me if you want.”

“Kageyama… I…” Hinata muttered as Kageyama grunted, “I have about half an hour to get there so if you want to go, now is the time.”

Hinata didn’t move, the tension in Kageyama’s shoulders starting to get the better of him when he decided to make the snap decision to walk over to him. His fingers closed around the smaller boy’s wrist, dragging him after him before he could even protest as he snapped.

“Dammit. I’ll just show you how amazing we are so that you will join us!”

…

“Oya oya? What do we have here?” Kuroo smirked as he adjusted the straps of the guitar slung across his shoulder. The top few buttons of his uniform shirt were unbuttoned, revealing a bit of his wide chest as a metal ring kissed the base of his neck. His smirk was beginning to make Kageyama wish he hadn’t done this in the first place or he could just go with the option of kicking Kuroo’s ass.

Iwaizumi was staring at the short boy behind Kageyama, running a hand through his hair as he sighed.

“Oi, Kageyama. Care to explain why you dragged someone here out of his free will to the studio?”

“I… I don’t know,” Kageyama stammered, now regretting having let his instincts take over without thinking twice about it. The last thing he remembered was grabbing Hinata’s wrist, yelling at him to put on his shoes and the next thing he knew, they had arrived at the studio quite out of breath. He might have even run partway there, although Hinata had been silent throughout the entire journey.

“Oya, it this a kidnapping? You want me to phone the police?”

“One more word and I will kick your ass, Kuroo,” Iwaizumi growled as Kuroo laughed, “Ah, youth. How I miss it.”

“We’re the same freaking age!” Iwaizumi yelled as Kageyama waved a hand at them.

“That’s Iwaizumi Hajime, the mum of the band and the only sane member of the band. He’s our drummer. The guy with the loose tongue and stupid rooster hairdo is Kuroo Tetsurou, the bassist,” Kageyama said, pointing at each guy in turn as Hinata quickly gave them a bow.

“Yo,” they both said, their hands still gripped on each other's throats before Iwaizumi released Kuroo with a huff.

“So, what made Kageyama bring you here? That guy hates other humans with a passion so I’m a bit surprised he dragged you here for our practice. Or could it be,” Kuroo smirked, “he finally realizes how cool we are and wants to show us off.”

“That’s just you with several screws loose in your head, Kuroo,” Iwaizumi snarled as he twirled his drumsticks, dangerously looking like he could stab Kuroo with them as Kageyama sighed, “Hinata may be the vocalist we need for the band.”

“Eh? I thought we were doing instrumental and all,” Kuroo groaned as Kageyama snapped, “I know but I heard Hinata sing the other day and I… I dunno… it sounded nu.. knif.. nuf…”

“Nice?” Iwaizumi interjected as Kageyama nodded, “he sounded nice.”

“It wasn’t anything,” Hinata muttered as Kageyama removed his guitar from its casing, setting it up before slinging it across his shoulders. He didn’t say a word as he tuned it before taking a breath, looking at Hinata in the eye as he began to strike a tune.

With the guitar hooked to the amplifier, his music sounded even better than it normally had, the music sending chills through Hinata’s body as Kageyama played, Kuroo and Iwaizumi stunned for a few seconds before grinning at one another.

“Can’t let him hog all the glory to himself right?” Kuroo smirked as he began to play the bass. His fingers moved across the strings, plucking at them in tandem with Kageyama as Iwaizumi said, “Hell no.’ before slamming his drumsticks onto the drums.

Hinata felt his mind being blown away at the three boys playing before him. While they had been all rowdy and a bit dangerous earlier, they were now in perfect sync to each other’s music. Hinata had never heard anyone play so well before and even though he had never heard of their band, he felt like they were a band that stood apart from the others because of how much pride and love they had for their music.

The smirk on Kuroo’s face was a far fetch from his lazy smirk from earlier, replaced with one that spoke volumes of how much he was enjoying playing. Sweat gleamed from Iwaizumi’s brow, his biceps flexing under his shirt as he banged on the drums, producing a beat that made Hinata want to tap his foot to the rhythm. Kageyama was concentrated on his playing, his blue eyes alive with energy as he played and when they finally finished playing, Hinata caught the glimpse of the beginnings of a smile on his lips as he grinned.

“So, what do you think?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying not to make it sound like Akihiko and Uegetsu all over again so hope this one turned out a bit different than the Given anime.

Iwaizumi Hajime was once one of the best pianists in Miyagi.

Despite his rather bulky figure that made people assume that he was more suited to be a pro wrestler or the fact his fingers weren’t of the same long spindly look associated with pianists, he played music that would stun the crowd into silence.

Or it could be because of his counterpart, Oikawa Tooru playing with him on the violin. As his wavy brown hair shone under the light, his finger slowly moving across the strings as he moved the bow across it, the music that he played would make girls swoon and some guys fall over, stirring emotions buried deep in people’s hearts as he played their feelings through his song.

Oikawa was someone who tried to drag anyone he knew into something he wanted and the person who suffered that the most was Iwaizumi. When they were kids, Oikawa decided that he wanted to play the violin so he could stand on the stage in a tuxedo and look handsome while Iwaizumi accompanied him on the piano. While Iwaizumi would have rather played a sport than play music, he found himself being dragged into Oikawa’s messy dream, only to have stayed there much longer than he anticipated.

As it turns out, Oikawa quickly became good. Although he had to put in countless hours to catch up to those already in the field since they could walk, he soon became a violinist of the highest calibre, performing in concerts across the country by the time he was 10 and moving on to win national competitions from then onwards. No one in the world of classical music didn’t come to know of Oikawa Tooru’s name, although Iwaizumi’s name somehow manages to sneak under the radar.

Oikawa Tooru’s accompanist. Oikawa’s companion.

When Oikawa had picked up the violin, Iwaizumi had reluctantly taken up the piano since, in Oikawa’s words, _“I need a best man on the stage with me at all times and it has to be you, Iwa-chan!”_ Iwaizumi couldn’t say no to him at that point, pointing out he had to make sure Oikawa didn’t try to break his violin if he had a temper during his training and made sure he didn’t practice to the point of hurting himself.

He knew Oikawa would do a lot of dumb things if he wasn’t by his side.

So for years, he played with him, touring with him all over the country. While Oikawa eventually managed to get an accompanist to follow him on world tours, Iwaizumi would still perform with him when he was in Japan, although it broke his heart to see that his best friend was drifting further and further away from him.

Why did the passion that made Oikawa go all out and drag him into to spend more time with him pull them apart even more?

They were in their final year of middle school when the call came in. They had just got offers to go to a famous music school in Tokyo; of course, Iwaizumi had to go since Oikawa would shit over himself if something happened to him if he went there alone and had already booked a flat to stay together when Oikawa received an invitation to study in the Julliard Music school in the US.

While Oikawa had been thrilled about it, bouncing up and down as the school congratulated him about it, Iwaizumi could feel himself tearing at the seams. This wasn’t why he had joined the music industry in the first place; he wanted to make sure his best friend was alright. without the money or the skill to move all the way to America to look after his sorry ass, Iwaizumi decided on the only option he thought he should have done years ago; quit playing the piano.

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa whispered as Iwaizumi zipped his bag with finality. It was the final day of their middle school careers, the classroom empty as everyone had gone out to take pictures or find other students to make last-minute requests or confessions before they disappear from their lives forever. The two boys had somehow managed to make it to the classroom on their own, Oikawa chatting animatedly about how Iwaizumi was going to one day join him on the world stage when he simply told him he was going to quit playing the piano.

“You heard me. I’m quitting the piano.”

“But why? It's not like you’re not going to be able to get into a good school. You’re heading to the best music school in Japan in spring, you can easily come and find me next time.”

“What happens if I can’t? I’ve been living in your shadow all these years and followed you around to enhance your career. No one ever saw me as my own person, as Iwaizumi Hajime the pianist who earned the right to stand with the Grand King, Oikawa Tooru. I was always the lucky bastard who managed to crawl his way into the limelight because he knows a famous person. Not anymore, because I’ve had it.”

He grabbed his bag to sling it over his shoulder, turning to walk out of the classroom when Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi’s wrist.

“Iwa-chan?! Why are you leaving me?”

“You’re a teenager now dammit! You’re not a little kid that needs pampering anymore!”

“Playing without you won’t be the same.”

“So what?! I’m tired of living in your shadow. I wanted to play sports but because of all the time you made me spend playing the piano, making me take all those stupid exams and playing chords and music sheets that I wish I could just burn into cinders, I couldn’t do it! Don’t you think I have done enough for you, Tooru?!”

Iwaizumi knew he had said too much but at the same time, he felt relief sweeping across him as he tugged his wrist from Oikawa’s grasp, slamming the door shut behind him as he heard the beginnings of crying floating in the classroom behind him.

Oikawa left the country a few weeks afterwards. Iwaizumi watched the whole process from his bedroom as the Oikawa family moved all of Oikawa’s things into the car before driving him to the airport. His parents were so happy for him, his mother kissing him all over as she made him take pictures before her baby boy grew up too much for her to recognize. His older sister was grinning as she patted her younger brother on the back while their father tried not to burst into tears about having another child leave the house.

“Hajime? Aren’t you going to go say goodbye to Tooru?” his mother called from downstairs as Iwaizumi gripped the front of the alien sweatshirt he wore now that he had forgotten to give back to Oikawa all those years ago. As he watched the Oikawa family pull out of the driveway and down the road, Iwaizumi could only feel the finality of reality smacking him across the face as he knelt on the floor and hug his knees against his chest, wishing he could turn back the clock and start his childhood all over again.

Instead of going to Tokyo, Iwaizumi remained in Miyagi to attend Aoba Johsai, a private school that accepted him easily because of his grades and his previous music career. While they had offered to let him in on a music scholarship, he declined since he didn’t want to have anything to do with that part of his past anymore. Every time he heard the words violin and music, even so much so heard someone playing the violin from afar, he could feel his seams in his heart tearing as he was reminded of his best friend, now separated from him on the other side of the world.

After school, his friends Matsun and Makki from the volleyball club dragged him to a nearby livehouse for a performance. While the two of them had tried to make him play volleyball to get over him moaning over Oikawa leaving, he didn’t manage to get the hang of it since he was plagued by the guilt of his words towards Oikawa about wishing he had done this instead. While the two pranksters finally gave up trying to drag him to volleyball, they thought they might lighten things up for the burly 16-year-old if he heard a different kind of tune to things.

“Are you serious?” he groaned as the entered the livehouse, Makki whipping out three tickets to the sleepy lady at the counter, who waved them in without glancing at the tickets. The place was crowded with people, most of them talking about the bands that were going to perform that night. As Makki and Matsun gushed about how they were excited to see the King himself performing that night, Iwaizumi was mentally thinking of what Oikawa would be saying in this kind of situation when the first band came on the stage and began to play.

He never thought that a person playing the guitar on stage could strike him to the core that hard. Kageyama Tobio, at age 14 was a sight to behold, his fingers flying across the guitar as the crowd cheered and clapped. The boy had a scowl on his face that rivalled Iwaizumi’s, his dark blue eyes burning with concentration as he played. His bandmates seemed a bit worried about trying to keep up with his tune, although to Iwaizumi, he thought that they were playing just fine.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” a voice purred behind him as he whipped his head to see a guy with the worst bedhead in existence grinning at him. The guy was about half a head taller than him, his lanky frame covered by a sleeveless black top with a cat in the middle. He wore a couple of chains around his neck and combat boots adorned his feet. For a moment, Iwaizumi thought they guy was a delinquent when he saw the guitar case strapped on his back.

Oh, so he was a musician too.

“Say, you look like someone who can play the drums. What do you say about joining my band?”

“That sounds a bit sketchy to me.”

“Come on bro! My man bailed on me and joined a different band because he thought their vocalist was hot so I’m left hanging here. Was supposed to perform today but the other member got sick too so I guess I’m going to be a one-man team later on the stage.”

The boy slung an arm across his shoulders, his breath tickling Iwaizumi’s ear as he felt him grin against it.

“I will change your mind once you see me on the stage.”

He grinned as he gave him a pat on the back before making his way to the stage, Kageyama having just finished playing. Iwaizumi hadn’t realized that they had vacated the stage, the conversation with the mystery guy from earlier having taken his attention off things when the said guy appeared on the stage.

“Hey, guys! Even though this was supposed to be the Neko Neko band playing, it's going to be a solo act for today. I’m Kuroo Tetsurou and hope you don’t mind me jamming on my own on the stage!”

He smirked as he began to play, the melody making the world around Iwaizumi shake as Makki and Matsun grinned.

“Oho, this is going to get interesting.”

While Kageyama had been all about accuracy, Kuroo was all fluid and instinctual. His fingers seemed to move without much coordination, yet the music he produced was beautiful and didn’t seem to miss a beat. All the while, the smirk on Kuroo’s face remained, his head snapping up as he looked at where Iwaizumi was standing to give him a wink as though he was trying to say, “So, what do you think?”

_“Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to consider his offer after all,”_ Iwaizumi thought as the crowd screamed Kuroo’s name.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this fluffiness is to your tastes! I never really tried writing BL before so not going to put smut or anything inside if that helps.

For the most part, Hinata just watched the band practice. He didn’t sing or played anything, just staring blankly from his side of the wall as they practiced.

It was beginning to tick Kageyama off.

While Hinata had been stunned by their performance and said he didn’t mind sticking around (more like a nod that Kageyama took as a yes), he didn’t do anything other than sitting against the wall and staring at them, once in a while staring into an empty spot as Kageyama tried not to yell.

He wanted to hear him sing again so bad.

“Hey, Kageyama. Are you sure it’s a good idea to let him continue coming here? I mean, he isn’t annoying us or anything but he ain’t doing shit,” Kuroo said as they had their water break. Hinata had gone for the day, slipping out of the door midway during practice. The boys had been so absorbed in their work that they hadn’t noticed him slink off and by the time they did, he could have been back in his house by now.

“He has a good voice.”

“Yeah, one good enough to wrap you around his fingers. Come on, man. Spill the beans. You normally wouldn’t want anything to do with others especially if they get in your way of practice so why him?” Kuroo purred, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall. Even though he had just finished school, he had already changed his clothes to what he deemed more comfortable; ripped jeans that showed off thick lanky thighs and a sleeveless shirt. It was a wonder that he had such a horrible fashion sense and not be deemed a delinquent.

Kageyama sighed as he put his guitar down into a stand, plopping down to run a hand through his sweaty hair. He wasn’t about to spill the beans to the others that he had written a song for him.

“Come on, Kageyama. We haven’t got all day.”

“Alright! Alright! I wrote a freaking song for him based on the melody he was humming the other day!” Kageyama blurted, realizing how hot his cheeks were as Kuroo roared with laughter. He had a hyena kind of laugh that made Kageyama want to whip him over the head with his guitar and the fact that Iwaizumi was joining in wasn’t helping either.

“Kageyama. Holy shit your face is freaking hilarious… fufu.. you’re saying you brought him over to… sing?! Bwahahahahaha!” Kuroo snorted as Iwaizumi stifled a snicker, “Man, I thought you were weird but you’re over the top weird now.”  
  


“Shut up!” Kageyama snapped as he covered his face with his hands, “Is there something wrong with wanting him to sing?”

“Yep. I think you have a crush on him, my man,” Kuroo said as Kageyama snapped, “Do not.”

“Eh. Let’s just get back to playing and we can deal with Kageyama’s love life later,” Iwaizumi snickered as they got back to work, the blush never quite leaving Kageyama’s face as they played.

…

The guitar was across from Hinata, his eyes staring at the red surface. The wooden surface shone in the evening light, the rays outside hitting it to make it look even redder than it was. Hinata reached out, his fingers itching to take it to even feel an ounce of Atsumu lingering behind when he curled his fingers with a wince.

No. He swore to never pick up the guitar again.

“Shouyou! Time for dinner!” his mother called as Hinata slowly got up, turning his attention away from the guitar as he went down for dinner. His mother beamed at him as he sat across from her, thanking her for the food and slowly beginning to eat.

The Hinata household used to be a very lively one. With Mr Hinata working away most of the time, Mrs Hinata did all she could to make sure her kids are happy. The reason why Hinata used to be so hyper was the fact his mother told him to be happy and explore the world, trying out new things and being with people of different walks of life. While she did get very concerned about his wellbeing after losing Atsumu, a soft smile crept up her face as she watched her son picked at his food.

“Shouyou, you’re eating a bit more now,” she smiled as Hinata stared at her. The past few months had been hard on his mind and body; he barely ate enough, often skipping meals and sleep was hard for him as well. Natsu would crawl into bed with him in an attempt to help him get to sleep but after a while, Hinata began to realise that her being in bed in him reminded him of the warmth of Atsumu’s body folding him in, his arms wrapped around his waist as his breath tickled his neck.

“Onichan, why do you smell funny? You smell like musical instruments or something,” Natsu quipped as her mother passed her some rice.

“Natsu, how do you know what musical instruments smell like,” Mrs Hinata asked as Natsu beamed, “Onichan always has this wooden smell on him and the studio he used last time had that smell too. Onichan, are you playing the guitar again?”

Hinata’s hand stiffened around his chopsticks, his mind screaming at him to stop talking as his mother placed a hand on Natsu’s shoulder.

“Natsu, your brother has had a long day at school. Maybe you should leave the questions for later.”

“Sorry, Onichan. I didn’t mean to make you…” Natsu murmured as Hinata smiled, placing his chopsticks across his bowl before reaching to give Natsu a pat on the head.

“Don’t worry, Natsu. Your big brother is ok. Mum, thanks for the food,” he said, the chair scrapping from underneath him as he walked to his room. Hinata locked the door behind him as he turned to sit on his bed. His eyes kept looking at the red guitar, his hands finally getting the better of him as he reached for it to pull it against his chest, a hiccup tearing from his throat as he choked back a sob.

“Atsumu, this still smells like you,” he whispered as he rocked back and forth, holding onto the guitar the same way he held his boyfriend all those months ago.

…

The Kageyama household had always been quiet.

Mr and Mrs Kageyama worked most of the time, leaving their teenage son alone in the large empty house. While Kageyama liked the fact he could make as much music as he wanted without people telling him to shut up, it often made him feel very alone at the fact that no one was there to listen to him play. While he had thought of asking his parents to come for his gigs, he thought better at a banker and an accountant sitting with a bunch of rowdy teenagers listening to them play the drums and guitar and actually thinking it was music.

Kageyama sighed as he leaned against his bed, his neck aching from having bent over for so long. His guitar laid in his lap, headphones slung across his neck as he rubbed his ears that had gone numb from having worn them for too long. Even though he was alone, he liked to listen to music with his headphones on. Music sheets lay scattered across the floor, remnants of broken pencil tips and eraser dust coating the polished wooden surface of the bedroom floor.

It had been ages since Kageyama had a phase of writing music. While he used to spend hours composing new songs, ever since he got into the argument with Kunimi and Kindaichi, he had lost the motivation to write anything. Being with Kuroo and Iwaizumi got him back into the habit of playing but it still hadn’t sparked anything in him to write a new song.

But when Hinata had sang in the empty classroom the other day, the gears in his head had begun to turn and ever since then, he would be writing the song in his free time. While he didn’t write any lyrics, that was something he wanted Hinata to do for himself. The boy had so much emotion hidden in him. If he could just give him a way to express his emotions…

Kageyama shook the thoughts out of his head as he put his headphones back on, picking up his pick to strum the guitar as Hinata’s voice flooded his mind.

So soft and gentle, yet broken and torn. A pure soul that has been marred by tragedy, wishing to find solace for what he had lost. Hinata had sang like an angel that had fallen from heaven, trying to climb back to the top but having been marooned on earth forever.

“Tobio. Tobio, are you in there?” a voice cut through his headphones, the door swinging open to reveal his mother standing at the threshold. Kageyama stopped playing as his mother sighed, stepping in to see the mess her son had created.

“Welcome home, mum.”

“Tobio, I know that you like to do your work on the floor but I would appreciate that you clean up after you do.”

“Sorry,” he muttered as his mother swept her hair back with a huff. Kageyama Kiyoko was a stern woman who wished that her son would have more passion for something other than music. While she didn’t mind him playing in a band, she did find his dismal results worrying, although Kageyama had been insisting that he was going to enter the music industry and had no need to have good grades.

“Have you eaten yet?” she asked as Kageyama began to keep his things. Kageyama clicked his tongue, annoyed he had been disrupted from the flow of thoughts in his mind before answering.

“No. Not hungry.” A low grumble filled the air as his mother laughed, her son turning red in embarrassment as she reached into her bag to toss a packet of milk at him.

“You better be eating well Tobio. You’re still growing.”

Kageyama didn’t say anything as he poked the straw into his milk and began sucking on it. His mother sighed, thinking of how much her son had grown. She regretted not spending a lot of time with him since she had to work but now, seeing him doing something that he loved, she felt a little reassured.

“Are you writing a love song or something?”

“Eh?!” Kageyama yelped as she laughed, “You just seem so into it. You were smiling so much when you were playing just now.”

Kageyama continued to look flabbergasted as she closed the door to leave him alone, turning to go to her bedroom as she thought on who could be the special someone Kageyama was writing the song for.

…

“Eh?” Hinata asked as Kageyama stood in front of him, having had called him out during lunch break. Yachi had yelped when she saw him, saying he looked like a vengeful ghost trying to claim some souls when Hinata insisted that Kageyama just looked scary. After reassuring her that he wouldn’t eat him alive, Hinata went to meet Kageyama, who seemed a bit more fidgety than normal.

“What is it, Kageyama? You’re not going to play the guitar today?” he asked as he cocked his head.

“Uhm, I didn’t bring my guitar today. Eh, I just wanted to ask you if you’re free today.”

“What for?”

“Uh.. uhm… would you like to come over to my house?”

Even though Hinata didn’t know why his heart was beating so fast, he hadn’t felt this way since Atsumu had invited him over to his house and kissed him, much to the dismay of Osamu who swore he would murder his brother if he ever did that again. As Kageyama became a bumbling mess in front of him, Hinata couldn’t help but smile at how cute he looked and wonder just what he had in store for him later that day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama was beginning to wonder if inviting Hinata over to his home was a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always pictured Kageyama as a rich kid.

Kageyama had no idea why he sounded as though he was about to do something naughty. Guys invite guys over to their house all the time for guy stuff right? People do still hang out in this day and age so why was he feeling like he was bringing Hinata home to do something other than playing music?

Internally, Kageyama was screaming to himself at whether this was a good idea on not. He had never invited anyone over to the house before and the fact that his mother was home most of the day didn’t help either. His heart was racing at how his mother would think of him bringing home a friend (was Hinata even a friend?!), let alone to play a song for him, but he felt that he couldn’t play the song anywhere but where only Hinata was able to hear it.

It made him sound like a girl trying to confess to the guy she likes.

Calm down. Calm down. He’s just coming over for an hour or so to listen to the new song and see if it is alright.

No biggie.

No biggie.

_“I’m screwed,”_ Kageyama mentally moaned to himself as he led the way to his house. His home wasn’t too far away from Karasuno, only about ten minutes away while apparently, Hinata had to cycle in from a village on the other side of the mountain 40 minutes a day to get there. Kageyama had no idea why he was such an idiot to make such a mad journey to Karasuno but inside, he was glad he had come to Karasuno. His year had seemed so much more fun and lively when Hinata stepped into his life.

Holy shit, what was he thinking?!  
  


“Kageyama?” Hinata called as he waved a hand in front of his face. Kageyama snapped out of his reverie, finally coming back into the present when he saw that he had led them straight to his house without realizing it. Hinata’s eyes were wide, staring at the huge bungalow standing in front of him, glass windows lining the sides of the house with a big Mercedes Benz parked in the porch.

“This is your house? That’s so neat! I live in an old fashion house and always thought these kind of modern houses are cool,” Hinata squeaked, slightly more animated than normal as Kageyama grunted, “Its nothing special.”

“Oh, so you’re a rich boy then?” The smirk on Hinata’s face was infuriating him but at the same time, it made him want to smile.

“Shut it, boke,” he snapped as he pressed the remote control in his hand, the automatic gate opening for them to enter. Hinata squawked, Kageyama nearly jumping in the air at the sudden sound as Hinata gasped, “So cool!”

Kageyama wished he would smile more like that.

“Tobio, is that you?” a woman called as his mother poked her head through the entryway. Both boys has just stepped into the genkan and were in the process of taking off their shoes as Kageyama muttered an “I’m home” to her.

“Oh, you must be Hinata-kun,” she smiled as Hinata yelped, “Hi, I’m Hinata Shouyou. Nice to meet you, Kageyama-san.”

“Pleasure is all mine. Tobio, bring your friend upstairs while I fix you two something to eat,” she chortled as she went to the kitchen, humming to herself as Kageyama lead Hinata up the stairs. Hinata gawked at how his house was, saying that it reminded him of a Hollywood mansion as Kageyama tried not to grin stupidly at the comment. He had always thought his house was on the normal side but guess his perception of normal was far off the mark.

“Wah, your room is huge! You can fit my room and maybe half of Natsu’s here!” Hinata gaped as Kageyama growled, “Just sit down so we can get to work. I’m going to go deaf hearing your squawks.”

“Kageyama, baka. It's not all the time I get to be in such a posh house!”

“Did you just call me baka?!”

“Boys! Please pipe down!” Mrs Kageyama called from downstairs, both of them shut up. For a moment, there was an awkward silence before Kageyama cleared his throat.

“Um, so on to business. I wrote a song for the next gig and I was wondering if you would like to hear it first,” he mumbled as Hinata’s eyes widened, “Eh? Why didn’t you just play it on the roof?”

“Because I didn’t want anyone to hear it. It's new and I don’t know if it sounds nice but…” he busied himself in getting his guitar and pretending to tune it so Hinata wouldn’t notice him blushing like a schoolgirl, “ I wanted you to hear it first.”

He finished tuning it, his finger poised above it as he took a breath before starting to play. A soft melody floated through the air, filling the room with both calming and sad feelings. Kageyama felt pain and anguish through his notes but at the same time, he also felt love and passion hidden between the lines. When he had first played the song in full, he thought he might actually cry thinking of what Hinata could do with it if he added the lyrics to it.

When he was done, he looked up from the ground, his heart hammering from playing before turning to see Hinata with tears streaming down his face. He didn’t seem to have noticed that he was crying, instead of sitting stock still on Kageyama’s bed before realizing what was happening.

“Eh, why am I crying?” he whispered as he wiped the tears away, only for them to continue flowing. Kageyama felt his heart clenched, panicking that he might have just made him cry when a knock came on the door.

“Oi, get in the bathroom before my mum sees you crying. She’s going to kill me for making you cry,” Kageyama hissed as he dragged him to the bathroom located in his room. Hinata didn’t have time to say anything as Kageyama half threw him in there, closing the door as his mother turned the knob to enter.

“I brought you two some tea… eh, what happened to Shouyou-kun?” she asked as Kageyama cursed her for using his first name so casually when he himself wanted to say it so badly.

“Um, he couldn’t hold it any longer so he went to pee,” he blurted as his mother cocked her head. She didn’t seem to buy the lie, although she ended up just placing the titbits on the table before making her way out. Once she was gone, Kageyama opened the door to reveal Hinata washing his face in the sink, drying his face with one of the spare towels Kageyama had on the counter when Kageyama felt his heart hammer at how cute he looked with damp hair.

Although the sight of his red-rimmed eyes broke Kageyama’s heart.

Kageyama made a promise that he would never make Hinata cry again, no matter what it takes.

…

Kageyama Reiko had always been worried that her son wouldn’t have any friends. While he had been a bit happier as a child, he always had a scowl on his face that made people think that he was out to kill them despite that being his usual look. No matter how many times she tried to make him smile a bit more naturally, it always made him seem like he was about to murder someone in glee so she gave up trying to teach him to do so.

She just wished people would be able to see her son past his scary looks and how kind he actually was inside.

She felt he began to stop smiling when he entered a band in middle school. While she had never gone to any of his gigs or seen his bandmates, she could tell that her son wasn’t getting along well with them. It always seemed as though he had put a wall between himself and them, afraid of letting go in case he ever got hurt. After what had been a bad ending with his band, Kageyama hadn’t touched the guitar at all, making his parents worry at what had happened when all of a sudden, Reiko began to hear her son playing once more with even more passion than ever.

Now she knew why.

When the boy with hair as bright as the son, brown eyes filled with earnest and happiness for being able to be with Kageyama, it made her heart melt at how lucky her son had been able to find a friend in Hinata. After hearing them bicker upstairs, she nearly broke into tears thinking of how much her son had come in life.

When she snuck upstairs to give them their drinks only to hear Kageyama’s playing, she could feel herself tearing up as various emotions welled in her chest, threatening to swallow her whole as she smiled.

_Tobio, I hope you and Shouyou remain close like this. It's not all the time you find someone like him._

…

Once again, Hinata found himself staring at Atsumu’s guitar. After the crying session in Kageyama’s house and a hurried excuse to leave when Kageyama had begged him to compose lyrics for the song, Hinata had found himself locked in his room, reaching out to Atsumu for answers as he wrapped his hands around himself.

He felt so cold. And so lonely.

He could remember when Atsumu made lyrics for their songs. They would always be meaningful and beautiful, Atsumu’s voice making them sound even more heavenly as they played. Hinata could never forget the desire to have Atsumu sing for him, his voice caressing his soul as gently as he did in physical form whenever Atsumu told him he loved him.

How he missed those big hands roaming over him, the ghost of his lips against his and the feeling of him swallowing him whole.

Could he ever write lyrics as beautiful as Atsumu once had?

“Atsumu. Tell me… will you forgive me if I write my love for you as a song?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With all the shit going on with the world and life in general, writing this story and binging Haikyuu and Free! is just about the only things keeping me going.
> 
> Heck, am I even going to graduate at this point?!
> 
> Anyways, enjoy a bit of Iwaizumi/ Kuroo bonding time fufufu.

“Is it just me or has Kageyama been a bit livelier lately?” Kuroo purred as he hung off the side of Iwaizumi’s bed. The other boy had his glasses perched on his nose; his eyes scrunched up in concentration as he tried to solve the maths question set out in front of him before sighing in defeat.

“Are you actually trying to study here?” Iwaizumi grunted, pulling his shoulders back to release some tension as Kuroo chuckled, “Come on, man. Don’t be such a spoilsport and a grumpy old man. You know you’re going to get more wrinkles if you keep thinking too hard.”

Iwaizumi relented from throwing something in Kuroo’s face before submitting to defeat. While it wasn’t an unusual occurrence for Kuroo to come over to do some studying in his house (which he didn’t have to since he was in the college prep class and was pretty much one of the smartest people he knew that didn’t need to study much to get good grades), he was beginning to wonder if he had come over to tick him off. Iwaizumi himself may be in the prep class for Aoba Johsai, but that didn’t mean he could slack off on his studying.

Still, Kuroo’s words hung true at how their younger bandmates seemed a bit more lively than normal. Kageyama had been a cloud of angst and mood swings since they had met him but ever since he met Hinata, he seemed to look a bit more reenergized, even happier. He caught the younger smiling on more than one occasion, a smile that was actually genuine instead of the creepy smiles he normally produced.

“I dunno. Maybe Hinata might be on to something with him.”

“Oho. You reckon he likes that chibi-chan?”

“Piss off Kuroo. It ain't your place to tell them what to do about romance.”

“What?! You don’t think I make a good cupid?” Kuroo smirked as Iwaizumi removed his glasses from his nose and set it on the table. He had to admit he was seeing Kageyama falling for the younger boy; who the heck brings someone to a band practice out of the blue?

“Speaking of which, did you see the file Kageyama sent to our group chat?” Kuroo asked as he swung his body off the bed, his long legs nearly hitting Iwaizumi on the head as he clicked the mp3 file. Soft guitar music filled the room as Iwaizumi’s eyes widened, his heart rate racing as several images flooded his mind in time with the music.

_“Iwa-chan is so mean! I don’t wanna catch bugs! Let’s go do something that isn’t dirty!” a six-year-old Oikawa whined as Iwaizumi grunted, “Don’t be a baby. I let you make me practice the piano for the past three hours so its time to go catch some bugs.”_

_“Don’t wanna! I don’t like them!” Oikawa wailed as Iwaizumi sighed, grabbing onto the other boy’s hand. He hadn’t realized how tiny Oikawa had been at the time and how his own enveloped his._

_“I will make sure nothing happens to you, ok?” he sighed, Oikawa sniffing as he wiped away the tears._

_“So, will you be my knight in shining armour, Iwa-chan?”_

_“I’m not your knight, Shittykawa.”_

_“Mean!”_

_…_

_“I’m so nervous!” Oikawa whispered as he held onto his violin. His hands were coated with sweat as he paced the corridor, his sweat starting to cover the front of his shirt as Iwaizumi groaned, “You ain’t going to be any better if you continue pacing!”_

_“Come on, Iwa-chan! I never performed before! What happens if I screw up?”_

_“You won’t. you’ve practised so much for this.”_

_“But…”_

_Iwaizumi shut him up as he got up, enveloping Oikawa in his arms as the other boy slowly managed to calm down._

_“I won’t let you go alone. We’re in this together. Always. You got it?”_

_…_

_“Have you ever thought about my dreams?! Of what I wanted to do? Well, I’ve had it. I’m quitting the piano.”_

_“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa screamed as the door slammed behind Iwaizumi, his legs carrying him as far as he could from the other boy as he heard him whisper, “Don’t go.”_

_…_

_Iwaizumi sat in front of the piano, the piano sheets spread out in front of him. His mind couldn’t process the notes on the paper, his fingers stiff as he tried to run them along the keys. When he pressed them down, the sound that reached his ears made his hair stand on one end, whatever he continued to produce making it sound like a saw running over his heart._

_Since when did playing music felt so painful?_

_Iwaizumi felt himself cave in as he leaned against the keys, his teeth chewing on his lower lip as he tried to hold back the tears from remembering how Oikawa would be by his side, playing the violin with a smile on his face._

_“Shittykawa, why did you leave me alone?”_

…

“Iwaizumi! Oi, Hajime-kun,” Kuroo called as he waved a hand in front of Iwaizumi’s face. He hadn’t realized he had zoned out from hearing the song, Kuroo’s voice bringing him back into reality as the song finished. As Iwaizumi mentally slapped himself for looking like an idiot, he realized that Kuroo seemed a bit taken aback by the song, his face unreadable before switching back to his snarky mode. Iwaizumi always thought Kuroo was someone who wasn’t affected by what happened around him but it seems that the song Kageyama wrote had the power to stir something in people’s hearts.

“Kageyama asked us to write accompaniments for it on the drums and bass. Damn, his guitar sounded so good and I already have a couple of ideas on how to do it for the bass,” Kuroo sighed as Iwaizumi gazed at the set of drums that took up the corner of his room. As Kuroo chattered about how he couldn’t wait to get back home to his guitar, Iwaizumi’s heart went back to the day that Kuroo’s invitation had helped him out a very hard time in his life.

“Kuroo, thank you for everything.”

  
“Eh? Why are you suddenly so sentimental?” Kuroo asked as Iwaizumi smiled.

“Nothing, Kuroo. Nothing at all.”

…

When Kuroo Tetsuroo was 3 years old, he picked up the violin for the first time.

His mother and father were famous musicians and they wanted their son to follow their footsteps. Initially, it had been fun, with his mother guiding him on how to play and teaching him music could heal the heart and bring joy to others.

Then the day came when Kuroo’s mother fell ill.

Kuroo thought that if he played, she might have gotten better. He would play for her every day, learning every song that she loved by heart so he could play it by her bedside to perfection. She would smile and said she was getting better every day, telling her son that she will one day go to his concerts and hear him play.

Few months into her stay in the hospital, she died.

Kuroo cried for weeks, never wanting to admit he had lost his mother. His father fared no better, trying to run away from his wife’s passing by sinking himself into his work and his son’s progress as a musician. Every day, he would make him place pieces and scales until his fingers hurt, bleeding even on some occasions. All so his father could run away from the grief that plagued him.

Ever since then, he had been made to play. And play. And play. Even as his short arms ached from carrying the heavy instrument in his hands, as his childhood was snatched away from hours of practising the violin instead of being able to run free and play with his friends, he never stopped playing.

Day in. Day out. Hours after hours of playing.

And Kuroo hated every second of it.

The only reason it had been bearable was that his best friend, Kenma was by his side. When Kuroo practised the violin, Kenma would sit in the corner playing his videogames. Even though the other boy never played any instruments, he could detect the slightest changes and mistakes in Kuroo’s playing, which stunned him at how observant Kenma was.

When Kuroo finally managed to earn the right to play in a concert, he didn’t feel the joy or the pride that normally came with such an honor. Instead, he felt himself crumble on the stage, the lights blinding him to the point of making his eyes water and the audience’s gazes bearing down on him making him want to curl up into a ball and cry. He didn’t want to do this; he hated the silence of the crowd, the only thing filling his ears was the sound of his own pounding heart.

It never got easier even as he played in more and more concerts. Even though he started to become more famous, he felt himself becoming more emotionally distant from music. Each piece was just something to be dealt with, not something to connect with. Each concert was a pain, a waste of his time and he dreaded the thought of having to pick up the violin for the rest of his life.

One day, Kenma and Kuroo were walking back from the arcade where they had been stuck playing the taiko drums for ages when they passed by a livehouse. The entrance to the building was open and music blasted from inside. Kuroo felt the blood boil through him as he edged into the livehouse, the sound of people cheering and clapping to the band playing on the stage sending chills down his spine as the voice of an angel filled the place.

The person on the stage sang words that struck through Kuroo’s heart. Words of pain and love, of suffering and forgiving. He played the guitar with ease that made Kuroo wished he could do the same, unbounded by any rules that held Kuroo chained to the ground by his own music. He looked so free on the stage, singing the way he wanted, playing what he wanted and how he wanted it.

For once, music truly felt like music to his ears.

That night, Kuroo told his father he was quitting playing the violin and giving up his spot in a top music school in Tokyo. His father had shouted at him for hours, telling him he was ruining his future by playing a ‘lower class’ instrument but Kuroo didn’t care. He locked away his violin and never looked back at it, even going as far to changing his looks from dressing up nicely to what Kenma called the bad boy look of black shirts with skulls and shredded jeans.

With his previous background in music, Kuroo didn’t find it too hard to play the guitar but he began to feel a bit lost in trying to play in a band. While most of the time, he only played solos in concerts or with a pianist, this was the first time he had to work with people playing instruments that produced so many different sounds. Kenma was a no go for trying to form a band with, so Kuroo tried his luck with two of his schoolmates, a bald guy named Yamamoto and a wild-card named Terushima. While things were all good at first, Kuroo began to find things hard once relationships were brought into the mix.

With Yamamoto and Terushima chasing girls most of the time, Kuroo found it difficult to actually get in any practice time with the band. Instead of practising, he found himself listening to bands that he could find, trying to pick up songs and mimicking them. He even tried to write a few on his own but he found it difficult to express himself through music since he had always thought of it as something that shackled him

When he finally created a song that he thought that his band would be able to play for their gig, Terushima ended up running off with his girlfriend while Yamamoto called in sick on the day. Kuroo felt that his music career might go down the drain that night for good when he met Iwaizumi at the livehouse.

The other boy looked lost, his eyes looking around nervously despite how he was trying to pull his face into a calm look. People looking at him would think he was calm and cocky with the way his arms folded across his chest and how buffed he looked, but Kuroo saw someone who was missing something vital in his life and had come to the livehouse in search for it.

He reminded him of himself all those months ago.

So he took the chance and popped the question, trying to reason with himself that the main reason he was asking him wasn’t because he looked a bit better looking than the guys in his group and more tolerable to work with. Heck, he even seemed like a smart guy who could help him with his homework.

“Say, do you want to join my band?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to have some notes at the end to avoid spoiling.
> 
> Enjoy!

The music flowed softly through Hinata’s ears, the steady beat of Iwaizumi’s drums and the thrumming of Kuroo’s bass filling the background. Through it all, Kageyama’s guitar pierced the void, sending chills down Hinata’s spine as the song finally came to an end. Slowly, Hinata slipped the headphones off his head, his hands holding them in his laps as he squeezed them.

How was he going to write lyrics for a song like that?

Atsumu had always been the one to write the lyrics and Hinata himself wasn’t the best at words; he flunked his Japanese and English classes more times than he liked to admit and the way the song had originated from Atsumu made him feel even worse.

He didn’t have the right to write it.

So when Kageyama asked him on how the lyrics were getting on, Hinata was a bit shocked at his response.

“Take your time. It isn’t always easy to write the lyrics,” Kageyama said as they sat down for a break. Iwaizumi and Kuroo had gone out to get some drinks from the vending machine, leaving just the two of them sitting on the ground. Kageyama had taken off his black jacket, leaving his sweaty shirt exposed. Hinata was a bit awed at the fact Kageyama was quite ripped considering he never played any sports.

“You actually look quite fit,” Hinata murmured as Kageyama choked on his water. Kageyama spluttered as he rubbed his face, trying to hide the spreading blush as he stammered at how he always run in the morning before school, about 10 km per day, although he was planning to train for to run a half-marathon soon.

Hinata thought the way Kageyama acted flustered was cute, watching as the other boy tried to recover himself before Kageyama turned to him, “Actually Hinata. Why don’t you play the guitar? You seemed to know what we’re talking about whenever we discussed things on how to play.”

“It’s a long story.”

“Come on. We’ve got time. Kuroo and Iwaizumi-san normally take a pretty long time to get drinks so entertain me.”

Hinata gulped as he thought of how he was going to phrase his words. He didn’t want to tell Kageyama about Atsumu just yet, even though he knew he had to tell him eventually. Somehow, the time didn’t feel right and deep down, he knew Kageyama would feel sad at knowing he loved someone.

“Next time,” Hinata said as Kageyama smirked, edging closer to him to bump shoulders against him. Hinata felt electric passing through him as Kageyama’s dark eyes looked at him, filled with earnest as he said, “Then, sing for me.”

Oh Lord, he sounded sexy when he said that.

Slowly, Hinata began to hum the tune, singing as Kageyama leaned against the wall to soak it all in. The other boy looked completely at peace, a soft smile on his face as he listened, Hinata’s voice carrying across the room until he finished. As he took a breath, Hinata turned to see Iwaizumi and Kuroo standing at the door, both of them with their mouths gaping as Kuroo sputtered, “Holy shit, did you just sing that, chibi-chan?”

Hinata nodded as Kuroo clutched his shirt, Iwaizumi looking confused at what just happened as Kageyama opened his eyes to look at his two seniors in the eye.

“So, what do you think of his singing?”

…

Hinata thought it was a bit odd that Kageyama chose to walk back with him after practice. While Kageyama’s house was a bit away from where Hinata was supposed to go, he insisted on walking there with him before parting ways. Hinata thought it was a bit sweet of him but at the same time, he wished that he could walk alone so he could rearrange his thoughts.

“Iwaizumi-san came up with the drums for the song much quicker than I thought. Kuroo-san was fast as well as expected but I didn’t expect him to be into this. He has written music before but this is a first time for Iwaizumi-san so I thought he might be a bit troubled about it. Oh, I forgot to ask Kuroo-san if he managed to book the livehouse. I think if we continue with practice, we should be able to perform this song during the gig… Hinata, are you listening?”

Hinata slowly emerged from his thoughts as he saw a group of boys approaching him, their bodies clad with a team uniform. As the group came into view, Hinata felt his heart clenched as one of them stopped in his tracks, his normally hooded eyes widening as he whispered, “Shouyou?”

Hinata had always hated how Osamu was Atsumu’s identical twin. Even though they looked exactly the same, save for the fact that Osamu had his hair grey and swept to the left, they were so different in nature. It hurt for him to see the twin he loved dead and the person standing in front of him, despite looking identical, was not Atsumu.

Hinata and Kageyama stopped in their tracks, Kageyama almost protectively trying to step in front of Hinata as the guy said, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything to hurt him.”

“Who is this guy?” Kageyama hissed, his scowl returning to his face as Hinata giggled, amused at the exchanged.

“Don’t worry. He was from my old school. Osamu-san, its been a long time.”

“Likewise, Shouyou-kun. Guys, you can head off without me first. I would like to speak to him for a bit,” Osamu smiled as his group of friends nodded and headed down the road. Kageyama opened his mouth to protest as Hinata placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a small smile as he told him he could go home first. Kageyama finally gave in and excused himself, bobbing his head to Osamu before walking away.

When Kageyama was out of earshot, Osamu finally took a breath from having held it in for so long, the slight energy he showed earlier deflating his body as he groaned, “Shouyou, why the hell did you suddenly transfer to Karasuno?”

“My therapist recommended me to transfer to have a change of pace. Being back in that school, even though you were there, it reminded me of him,” Hinata said sadly as Osamu clenched his fist, “I was worried about you. For a moment, I thought you might have done something stupid like Atsumu. That freaking idiot… he really knows how to drive people mad.”

Despite the two of them being twins, Osamu and Atsumu had pursued very different lives. With Atsumu being a musician striving to be the best in Japan, Osamu was working to be a top wing spiker, having been called in for training camps across the country. Hinata thought that if Atsumu had the chance to play volleyball, he would have made a very good setter; he was always someone who could bring both the best and worse out of people, guiding them towards the goal at the end with ease.

“So, who was that guy? He seemed a bit overprotective of you. I didn’t expect you to get hooked with someone so quickly.”

“Geh?! He’s not my boyfriend or anything! We’re just in the same school. And… he invited me to his band.”

Osamu chuckled as he walked over to Hinata, his hand moving to ruffle the shorter boy’s hair as he smiled sadly, “I’m glad you’re finding a bit of peace, Shouyou. After Atsumu died, I thought you might have gone too. You loved him so much, after all, maybe even more than I did.”

He patted Hinata’s shoulder one last time before stuffing his hands in his pockets to join his friends. As Osamu walked away, Hinata felt his heart shatter a little as he thought of the countless number of times Atsumu would sling his arm over his shoulder, hand in hand with him as they walked back from school. He would be talking about how much Osamu was annoying him and how he would complain his music was bad as Hinata laughed, drinking in everything he could from Atsumu.

He missed him so, so much.

…

Why in the world did that guy look so familiar?

While Kageyama was the kind of person to forget the faces of people who didn’t prove a challenge to him or served him no purpose, Osamu’s face had stuck to his mind even as he sat in the bath, constantly trying to get the nagging feeling of déjà vu from his mind when he finally felt too hot from sitting in the bath from too long. As he ran the water across his body, scrubbing the soap from his hair, Kageyama closed his eyes to remember how Hinata had gently asked him to leave to give them privacy.

Just who was that guy to Hinata?

Why did speaking to him make Kageyama feel so jealous?

It wasn’t like people do not want to speak to each other alone when they meet each other on the road or anything.

So why was he sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone as he searched about Osamu. He was feeling like he was getting more stalkerish by the minute, reading article after article of Osamu being the star volleyball player for Inarizaki High. Volleyball magazines spoke highly of him being one of the top wing spikers in the country (Kageyama had no idea on what that was, did that mean he had wings or something? Don’t tell me he had to wear spikes to keep them on!) and there were even videos of him playing on YouTube, his eyes concentrating on the ball to deliver a powerful spike that sent it rocketing across the gym.

Miya. Why did that name sound familiar?

Kageyama continued his search through the internet, typing words like ‘Miya’ and ‘music’ into the search engine for Google to find interesting results. Kageyama hadn’t thought he would actually get anything out of his search and was about to give up and call himself a freaking nut and weirdo when he came across some music articles of a boy named Miya Atsumu.

When Kageyama looked at his face, he was immediately taken to a time when he saw a blonde boy with a sharp tongue playing on the stage accompanied only by another boy a head shorter than him. His music would rock the stage and his voice would entrance the audience. Even Kageyama could feel himself falling under his spell when he sang, although now his attention went to the person playing by his side. Despite most images of him being blurr, with the camera focusing on Atsumu more but there was no mistaking that orange hair burning like the sun over an angel.

Why hadn’t Kageyama thought of connecting the dots before? Now he understood why Hinata knew how the music industry works and why he even knew how to play the guitar.

Kageyama felt something brew in his chest at the thought of Hinata singing with someone else on the stage, playing with him as he smiled.

How he wished he would smile for him like that.

As Kageyama scrolled down the page, a small snipping of the obituary caught his attention, his finger tapping the article as he felt his heart drop. A picture of Atsumu looked back at him, his face forever frozen at age 16 as the day of his death was written beneath it. Kageyama felt his blood turn cold as he realised what he had just discovered, and why Hinata had been so reluctant to talk about it.

_You will always be here with me. A beloved son, brother and lover who will be dearly missed._

Hinata quit playing music because of losing his boyfriend.

Kageyama’s phone slipped through his grasp, landing on his bed as he covered his face with a hand. His heart was beating as he tried to put out the emotions welling in his mind, sending him into a mad thinking frenzy as he tried to remove whatever emotions were running through him.

Even though Hinata had lost someone dear to him, why did he feel jealous that Hinata had loved someone he barely even knew in the past?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just felt that Kageyama might do some digging into Hinata's past, to be honest. While it might sound weird, in this day and age, everything is so accessible to the internet so I thought that this might make sense. 
> 
> Next update will be tomorrow so stay tuned!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wohoo! We're at chapter 10 now! I was kinda going for the whole 13 episode pace as Given and might reach there but it might go to 15, not sure.
> 
> Enjoy!!

Kageyama felt guilty at how Hinata looked in school the other day. The other boy had dark circles under his eyes, his face planted on his desk. His cheek rested on top of it, his face soft with sleep as he slept away. The other students around him snickered as one of them tried to draw a doodle on his face when the blonde girl, Yachi, Kageyama thought shooed them off before noticing him hovering at the door.

Kageyama felt like he was a ghost trying to haunt Hinata’s life. Hinata already had one haunting him right now, he didn’t need to have another trying to drag him into his business.

Before he could turn away, Yachi was already onto him, a slightly frightened look in her eyes as she stammered, “Uh, can I help you?”

Kageyama ran a hand through his hair, trying to word himself properly before scaring her off as he said, “Uh, I would like to speak to Hinata.”

Yachi turned to look at Hinata before looking back to Kageyama to explain the obvious when Hinata stirred from his spot, rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes before turning to look at Kageyama. Kageyama mentally shrieked at how cute Hinata looked sleep mussed; his hair stuck up even more than it normally does, his mouth opened in a yawn and his cheeks were red, making Kageyama want to pinch them so bad.

“Kageyama-kun,” he yawned as Kageyama coughed, trying to mask the squeal from his throat as he said, “Can we talk for a sec?”

Hinata nodded, getting up from his sleep as he followed him into the corridor. Some of the students stared at them as they left, Yachi poking her head through the door to check if Kageyama wasn’t going to murder Hinata when Yamaguchi came up behind her.

“Hey, Yachi. I… eh??? Are you ok?!” he yelped when he saw that Yachi looked close to fainting. He held her arm as she steadied herself against the door, getting her to breathe slowly as she got her breath back. Yachi was known to have a lot of anxiety attacks, something he had learnt to deal with ever since he started to date her. While he himself was prone to getting anxious in certain situations, being with Yachi helped him feel a bit more confident at that he could now support someone else in the same situation.

“Sorry, Yamaguchi-kun. I was a little worried about Hinata, that’s all.”

“Ah, Kageyama wanted to ask him something, didn’t he? I’m a little shocked; both of them didn’t seem like the types that like to talk much. No one except Tsukki could get a word out of Kageyama, and that was because he would press his buttons to the point of Kageyama wanting to slap him,” Yamaguchi grinned sheepishly, thinking of how often Tsukishima had tried to annoy him. Yamaguchi knew deep down the guy actually cared for Kageyama, wanting him to actually show the smile that Tsukishiam claimed he had that would make anyone’s heart melt. For all he knew, he could have the hots for him.

“Oh, what do we do? If anything is responsible, I would be responsible because I am the class rep. And what happens if Kageyama goes to jail?! I would be blamed for not being able to take care of my classmates and this will affect my job and I wouldn’t be able to clothe myself and I would starve to death, wandering the streets as I sell my organs…”

“Yachi, calm down!”

…

Kageyama groaned as he tried to block out Yachi and Yamaguchi freaking out after them. He knew he did look like a murderous person half of the time but he couldn’t help it. Every time he tried to smile, he looked like someone straight out of a horror film. It had been to the point that it made any of the younger kids cry, which was precisely why he steered clear of any of his younger cousins and never talked to his family. Heck, he made grown boys cry as well, such as Yamaguchi.

Setting that aside, Kageyama needed to get this over with Hinata.

He pressed a hand on the door, swinging it open to reveal the empty roof. As they stepped onto it, Hinata shivered in his shirt as Kageyama went straight to the point.

“Have you written the lyrics?”

Hinata looked at the ground, Kageyama’s tension rising as he groaned, “Hey, we have the gig in two weeks and we kinda need a game plan right now. While we can just go with the instrumental version of it…”

“I want to sing, I really do, but… I just can’t. Not right now,” Hinata whispered as Kageyama felt his heartbreak ever so slightly. He knew he shouldn’t be pressing Hinata into this, but he felt the need to make him sing.

To sing out all the pain he kept locked away in him.

“Then why don’t you write it? I know it's hard but with the gig coming up…”

“I want to write but I feel like I can’t! I don’t have the right to write a song about him, not when I was the one to…” Hinata yelled, slamming a hand onto the wall behind him as he choked back a sob, “I hurt him so badly. I left him when he was all alone. I don’t deserve to be happy anymore.”

“You loved Miya Atsumu once, didn’t you?”

Hinata looked up as Kageyama’s face twisted with guilt, his hands twisting in front of him as he said, “I’m sorry. I thought I recognised Osamu-san from somewhere and when I searched the internet about him, I found out about Miya-san. I had heard him play before with you but it never connected to me that that was how you knew about the music world. There were rumours about what happened to him flying about when he didn’t do any more gigs but I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried into your business.”

Now he’s done it. Hinata was going to hate him so much.

“So, do you think I deserve to sing for you?’

Kageyama’s heart stirred as Hinata stepped in front of him, his eyes red with tears as he grabbed onto his shirt. Kageyama always forgot how tiny Hinata was, his head coming slightly above his chin. When he leaned into him, he could wrap his arms around him easily, with a bit more room to squeeze him tighter.

“I did something terrible. I made Atsumu die. If I hadn't been there, he might still be alive.”

“That’s no true.”

“Tsumu always had bad mood swings and needed someone to be there with him but I decided to run away from him like an idiot and just focus on myself…”

“Stop…”

“I killed him! I killed him, Kageyama! I killed my own boyfriend!”

“Hinata! Please, stop!” Kageyama yelled as he pulled Hinata against him, not caring that Hinata was full out crying right now, his tears drenching his shirt. Kageyama wrapped his arms around him tightly, not letting him go even as Hinata pummeled weakly on his back, whispering for him to let him go.

No, he will never let him go now.

Not when he had made cracks the damn of Hinata’s heart.

“If you cannot sing for him… sing for me.”

That was all he wanted to say. Kageyama didn’t know much about Miya Atsumu or what he had done to make Hinata like this. One thing was for sure; he was the key to making Hinata whole again, and to set himself free.

…

“I’m home,” Iwaizumi called as he stepped into the genkan, slowly slipping off his shoes as he rubbed his aching shoulders. After a long day of band practice and a shit ton of homework waiting for him after dinner, he couldn’t wait to slip into the bath and just relax for a bit until he was called down to eat. He was grateful his mother was a good cook and made sure he was keeping well; he didn’t know how Kuroo was faring all on his own in his tiny flat when he ran away from Tokyo to escape his father.

Despite the amount of take-out and snacks Kuroo put in his body, he still seemed pretty fit.

Shaking any thoughts of Kuroo out of his mind, Iwaizumi trooped up to his room, trying not to drool at the smell of food cooking in the kitchen when his nose picked up something coming from his room. His heart skipped when he realised the familiar smell, having had smelled it for most of his life as he stepped to his door, scared to open it before finally turning the doorknob.

As the door swung open, he saw the person lying on his bed, his eyes closed as he snored. His hair had gotten much longer the last time he had seen him, his face soft with sleep as slept face down. His body was dressed in a suit, Iwaizumi wrinkling his nose at how he must be smelling from having flown all the way in that for the past 24 hours when he reached to the sleeping person to shake them awake. As he touched his body, a wave of sadness filled his mind at how much he had missed him.

“Oi, Shittykawa. Get up,” he whispered, the old nickname slipping out of his tongue as Oikawa stirred in his sleep, rubbing his eyes as he slowly sat up. His tie had been loosened around his neck, the top buttons of his dress shirt popped open to reveal a toned chest. Iwaizumi gulped at how much his friend had grown from a scrawny person to a boy that women would kill to date.

“Iwa-chan?” he yawned as he opened his eyes, his eyes becoming more awake as his gaze fell on his best friend before shrieking, “Iwa-chan! I missed you so much!”

Oikawa barrelled into him, flying off the bed at full speed as he nearly knocked Iwaizumi against his desk. Iwaizumi grunted as his back collided with the sharp corner of the desk, throwing his hands back to soften the impact as Oikawa hugged him tightly.

“Seriously, Shitykawa. You’re going to kill me like this.”

“But I haven't seen you in three years! Of course, I would miss you and want to hug you like this!” Oikawa whined as Iwaizumi sighed. Oikawa had been busy training in the US all these years and with him doing everything he could to focus on his studies, any thoughts of his best friend had been banished from his mind. The most they had done was send a few messages to each other on Line, with Iwaizumi checking the Internet on Oikawa’s latest performances or his social media accounts where he posted a lot about his personal life. The guy had gone on a dating spree in the US and the last time he checked, he checked in with a pro volleyball player from Japan playing in the US.

His hard, emotionless face didn’t seem to suit Oikawa who was smiling and grinning at the camera as they took pictures.

He finally managed to pluck Oikawa from him, settling to lean against his desk while Oikawa sat on his bed, Iwaizumi crossing his arms as he growled.

“What the heck are you doing here after so many years? Aren’t you supposed to be graduating this summer?”

“Well, things happened and I thought I come home for a bit,” Oikawa sighed as he shucked off his jacket onto the bed.

“Come on. No one comes back from the US without a good reason, especially when they’re in Julliard. Come on, spill it or I will clobber the info out of you.”

“Mean, Iwa-chan! Alright, I’m on a break. I couldn’t focus on my playing and felt I was getting worst, so they told me to come home and enjoy some family time before going back!” Oikawa groaned as Iwaizumi’s stomach turned. He never expected Oikawa to meet a slump.

“So how long would you be back?”

“About a month. Neh, Iwa-chan! Let’s go around the city! I wanna eat at the old ramen shop we frequented.”

“The hell I’m going with you! I have a shit ton of work to do and I don’t want to be swamped with your fans.”

Oikawa laughed softly as he ran a hand through his hair, his eyes surveying the room he had spent so much time sleeping over at as a child; the glow in the dark stars they had stuck on the ceiling along with a few alien stickers Iwaizumi never had the chance to remove, the Godzilla figurines that lines the wall along with the alien socks that Iwaizumi had stolen from him lying on the ground.

He missed that so much.

“It's fine. You have your own life now. I just wanted to check on you to see if you’re fine. Your mum did say you had a hard time when I left.”

“What. You keeping tabs on me from my mum now? Just how desperate are you trying to stalk me.”

Oikawa pouted at that as he stretched out on Iwaizumi’s bed, wrinkling the spread before stopping in midroll to lock onto the set of drums in the corner of the bedroom.

“So you’re playing the drums now?”

“Yeah, I’m even in a band.”

“Eh?! Who would want Iwa-chan with his gorilla face?”

“Shut it, Shittykawa!”

“Still, I think that it suited you more than the piano. You always did look sad when you played it,” Oikawa whispered as he looked at the drums, remembering how Iwaizumi had always threatened to break the piano if he ever stopped playing the violin and how much he hated it.

Oikawa wished he had never dragged him into this mess.

“Well, I think I will head back now and sleep. I still have jetlag and would like to sleep in my own room for now. But you gotta hang out with me once in a while, Iwa-chan. It's rude to not hang around with your best friend after not seeing him for so long,” Oikawa huffed as he stood up, grabbing his jacket to swing it over his shoulders before walking to the door.

“I have a gig in three weeks. You want to come hang out then?”

Oikawa laughed as he opened the door, Iwaizumi chewing his lip at how absurd it was to invite Oikawa over when the other boy said, “Sure, why not? It's not all the time I get to see a gorilla play the drums.”

Oikawa narrowly avoided getting hit in the face by an alien pillow, his heart significantly lighter than it had ever been in the past three years as he walked back to his own home.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With everything going crazy in the world and now with my country finally going under lockdown, I hope that with this story and whatever you find on A03 will be able to help you through these dark times.
> 
> I'm open to suggestions on what to write. I don't mind doing a bunch of one-shots as long as they don't involve smut. Kinda want to do some SakuAtsu but no idea where to start.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this story!

One week before the gig, and Hinata still hadn’t produced anything.

He still feared to hold onto the guitar, especially Atsumu’s red guitar. It bled a bright red before his eyes as he reached out to hit, his fingers stroking the slightly worn strings as he thought he better changed them.

_“How do you change guitar strings again?”_ he thought as he ran a hand along them, the ghost of a hand running on top of his as he remembered Atsumu behind him, Hinata sat in his lap as he guided his hands in changing the strings. Hinata never did learn how to change the strings on his own; he had always been distracted with the fact that Atsumu was behind him and his body warmth made his lower body twitch.

“Onichan! Time for dinner!” Natsu called as she entered Hinata’s room, sliding the door open to see her brother seated on the ground. While she had been careful to make sure she didn’t bring up anything that could trigger Hinata about Atsumu, she couldn’t help but asked why he was holding onto Atsumu’s guitar.

“Onichan, wasn’t that… Tsum Tsum Nii-chan's guitar?” she asked as Hinata smiled sadly, “Yeah, it was. Onichan is going to have to change the strings to use it next week.”

“Eh? Don’t you have your own guitar?” she quipped as Hinata’s grip around the guitar tightened. While he would prefer to use his own, the thought of going onto the stage without Atsumu terrified him.

Natsu seemed to understand as she came over to give him a hug, her hair tickling the back of his neck as she gave a peck on his cheek, “Tsum Tsum ni-chan would want you to be happy, Onichan. He wouldn’t want you to be sad all the time.”

She missed Hinata being full of life and joy and laughing as he tried to play volleyball with her. Atsumu would be in the background, strumming randomly on his guitar as he called Hinata over to give him a hug. She had been jealous of Atsumu stealing away her older brother for himself but now, she wished the two of them would have been able to stay together.

Hinata reached out and patted her on the head, telling her that he would follow her soon after. Natsu nodded as she walked out, leaving Hinata to place the guitar against the wall as the sun began to set behind him, painting the guitar a darker red.

…

Kageyama was getting a bit angsty at the fact Hinata hadn’t written anything. They were set to play in three days and the orange-haired boy hadn’t come up with anything. Iwaizumi and Kuroo didn’t seem to mind that though, saying that Hinata needed to take his time in preparing. In the worst-case scenario, he could always just remained in the background while the three of them covered for him.

“I think we should stop practice,” Kuroo said as Kageyama choked on his drink, spitting water across Hinata’s face as the boy barely managed to dodge from it. As Iwaizumi gave a pack of tissues for Hinata to wipe himself off, Kageyama was gaping at Kuroo as the older student lounged against the wall, seeming unfazed at his own words as Kageyama gaped, “How the hell can we not practice? We have a gig in three days!”

“That’s why I’m saying, we should use this time to prepare and relax our minds. As they say, if you learn something two weeks before your event, you won't be able to do any better in it. So let’s relax.”

“I think that only applies for sports, Kuroo but I get what you mean. I feel your playing is becoming a bit sloppier, Kageyama,” Iwaizumi pointed out as Kageyama nearly blanched, “Eh?! How is that even possible?”

“Maybe you have something on your mind. You wanna chat about it? This ain’t gonna be the first time you ever performed in front of a crowd so why are you being so prickly about it?” Kuroo asked as Kageyama to sink into the floor and bury himself in a hole.

It wasn’t himself that he was worried about. He was more worried about Hinata not being able to do anything on the stage and possibly being frightened off from the band for good. His mind had already come up with several insane scenarios of what could happen if Hinata didn’t come up with the lyrics; he didn’t even know if the guy could play the guitar well enough!

“Yo, Kageyama. Come with me,” Kuroo said as he gestured to the door for Kageyama to follow. Kageyama looked torn as Iwaizumi let him go with a shooing motion. The younger boy reluctantly followed his senpai out of the door to the vending machines outside, the night air starting to get a bit colder as Kageyama wrapped his arms around himself when a can of hot red beans was lifted to his face.

“It's on me,” Kuroo said as Kageyama slowly took it, opening the can and downing its contents. It had been a while since he had it and it warmed him to the toes, Kuroo chugging down a can of coffee before casually saying, “So, are you worried about Hinata because you care about him that much? I didn’t take you for a worrier.”

Kageyama nearly choked on his drink, his face getting flushed from both getting choked and the realisation that he was looking so obvious about his out of control crush as Kuroo continued, “Well, I’m not complaining or anything, but I think you should try and sort things out with Hinata before your feelings get a little out of control. While your crush is cute, it's starting to get irritating at how you’re not manning up and telling him you like him.”

Kageyama spat out his red bean soup, coughing as Kuroo banged him on the back. A Cheshire smirk was spreading on his face as he sneered, “Oya oya? So even the great Kageyama Tobio can have crushes. I was spot on and Iwaizumi didn’t believe me on that.’  
  


‘Were you two taking bets on me?! And just how obvious is it?”

“Uh, very. Sometimes it gets a little bit overboard but heck, youth only happens once so enjoy the moment while you can. Although I would recommend you trying to get chibi-chan to be yours soon. He is the type to get swept up by other guys if you don’t move fast enough,” Kuroo smirked as he waggled his eyebrows, nearly Kageyama choke even more as he laughed, “Don’t worry. I have a type but it isn’t for chibi-chan.’  
  


“You’re not going to say anything about me liking Hinata even though he’s a guy?”

“It’s the 21st-century man. Yolo and all, love is love, you get the jazz. But the more important issue here is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to wait for him to make the move and drown you in his music, or are you going to drown him in yours?”

…

Hinata just realised he hadn’t talked much to Iwaizumi ever before this. The older boy was going through his phone, his eyes in slits as he growled at whatever he was looking at before chucking the phone into his bag with a growl.

“Uh, is everything alright, Iwaizumi-san?” Hinata asked as Iwaizumi ran a hand through his already messy hair.

“Yeah. My friend just got back from America so he’s driving me nuts by sending me pictures of food of everything he’s trying out. He may be on vacation, but that doesn’t mean I have the time to entertain his sorry ass,” Iwaizumi groaned as Hinata giggled, “You really like him, don’t you?” He’s relationship reminded Hinata of how Atsumu would send him all sorts of pictures, from food to him being in the process of waking up or heading to the shower. The number of times Hinata nearly got caught by Natsu trying to go through suggestive pictures was unmanageable.

“That must be nice,” Hinata whispered as Iwaizumi sighed, “Well, what about you? You got anyone that annoys you to shit like this?”

_Yeah. He did. And he missed it so much._

“Iwaizumi-san, please enjoy it while you can. When it’s gone, you would wish that you can get back all that time with that person. When they are too far away to reach, those moments are what keeps you connected to them.”

Iwaizumi seemed stunned as Hinata fiddled with his pants, not having realised that he had said the words aloud when the door swung open to reveal Kuroo waltzing in with a slightly confused and berated Kageyama. Kageyama’s face was still red from earlier and Hinata cocked an eyebrow as the other boy avoided eye contact with him for a moment when Hinata fished out his water bottle and handed it to him.

“Kageyama, you need a drink?” he asked as Kageyama nearly choked on his saliva as he thought of him getting an indirect kiss from him.

“Ah, I’m fine! Totally fine! Just needed some fresh air, that’s all,” he stammered as Iwaizumi gave Kuroo a glare. Kuroo didn’t seem bothered however, as he closed the door behind him and clapped his hands together.

“Now that we’re all here, how about we do something fun and come up with a new band name?”

“Why don’t we just use our old one?” Iwaizumi groaned as Kuroo purred, “Come on, we’ve got Hinata here now so it might be a good time to come up with something refreshing. Besides, Kageyama has a hell of a time trying to pronounce Schweiden Adlers all the time, doesn’t he?”

“It's still better than Neko Neko Nyan right?” Kageyama growled as Iwaizumi snickered, “I can’t believe that used to be your band name.”

“Come on! We were trying to be creative there but that’s not the point now!” Kuroo yowled as Kageyama reluctantly pulled out a notepad as everyone moved in to sit in a circle.

“So how do you pick a band name?” Hinata asked as Kageyama uncapped his pen, “We just throw whatever comes to mind and if it sounds good to everyone, we use it. I don’t even know why we’re using Schweiden Alders at the moment.”

“It's cool!” Kuroo groaned as Iwaizumi smacked him at the back of the head to shut him up.

“Well, we’re from different schools, save for me and Hinata. We thought of trying to combine the names of our schools together but it got a bit messy so we decided to stick to something that doesn’t involve animals. But if you have any ideas on what we can do, spill it, Hinata,” Kageyama grunted as he tapped his pen on his lap. Hinata couldn’t remember how Atsumu had chosen their band name, but for some reason, he said that Hinata reminded him of a crow, always evolving in trying to reach to the top. Hinata stared at the ground, his mind working as he said, “What about Flightless Crows?”

“Eh? Crows again? But that does have a nice ring to it,” Kuroo said as Iwaizumi asked, “Why Flightless Crows?”

“Well, I think because each of us are from many different backgrounds. All of us had something that happened in the past that made us who we are now, and now that we are here together, we’re starting as a band for the first time. Crows always evolve to strike down their prey in their journey to the top, don’t they? Wouldn’t it be fitting of us since we’re trying to aim for the top as a new team?” Hinata asked as Kageyama struggled to write the name down when Hinata gently took the pen from him and scribbled down the name in English.

As the name bled out onto the paper, Hinata could feel something unlock within him. He could almost feel wings spreading from his back, ready to take flight as he looked at the mountain he had to overcome.

“Hm… interesting. Anyone else got any ideas?” Iwaizumi asked as Kuroo grinned, “Well, I’m not a fan of birds since I am a cat person, but I don’t mind going with this.”

“I’m in agreement. Kageyama? Your call.”

All eyes turned to Kageyama, his eyes looking at the name Hinata had come up with. Hinata gulped as he prayed that Kageyama would like it when a grin spread across his face as he said, “Alright then. Flightless Crows it is.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually intended for this chapter to go differently but whilst writing it, things happened so it became like this.
> 
> Also, just a little note in case people are a bit confused as to where this story is happening now: it takes place in Miyagi and Kuroo is actually from Tokyo but came to Miyagi to get away from his dad. The Miya twins lived in Hyogo and moved to Miyagi, although I didn't exactly hint the accent since I have no idea how it sounds like and I don't want to butcher the language. While Inarizaki is mentioned in the story, I'm just going to say that it is in Miyagi, to make things simpler and all. Hope that clears up some things! (I wanted to do it in Tokyo in an unnamed school but I don't know why but Karasuno wormed its way into this story fufu). 
> 
> Enjoy!

“La la, la la. La la, lalala,” Kuroo hummed under his breath as he spun his keys in his fingers, motorbike helmet in hand. After he had managed to earn enough cash from his part-time job (his grandparents still sent him money but he didn’t want to burden them too much and plus, being in a band was expensive), he managed to snag a good deal for a bike and used it whenever he could.

Not to mention it completed his bad boy look.

Kuroo took two flights of stairs at a time as he walked to his flat, thinking of what he was going to have for dinner tonight when he turned the knob of his house to find that the door hadn’t been locked. His hair stood higher than it already had as he cautiously opened the door, holding his helmet in case he needed to bash someone’s head in when he heard the familiar sound of BGM coming from a Nintendo Switch. When he looked in the genkan at closer inspection, he noticed a small pair of worn-out sneakers and it didn’t take him too long to figure out who his intruder was.

“Oya, Kenma? What brings you to this lovely little city?” Kuroo purred as he dropped his keys into the bowl on top of the shoe rack in the genkan, slipping off his shoes before heading into his home. His home consisted of pretty much a small kitchen, a bathroom and a bed along with a tiny space for him to study. While he had somehow managed to cram his drumset into the flat, that didn’t leave him much room for anything else.

Kenma was too engrossed in his game to bother as Kuroo slunk up and pulled him into a hug, his fingers never leaving the game as he continued to play his game. Pudding hair covered his eyes, his bangs nearly pricking his eyes although after years of practice had led to Kenma somehow managing to play his games without having a backache and eye strain from hunching over the console in the dark for hours. While Kuroo had tried for his life to play videogames, he never found them as engrossing as Kenma did (well, maybe he did get into Pokemon Go when it came out and Kenma did, although he gave up after realising he would have to walk ages to get a single pokemon).

Kenma sank into his arms for a brief moment, Kuroo grinning as Kenma made a purring sound in his throat. If Kenma ever had a spirit animal, Kuroo thought, it would definitely be a cat.

“Is it wrong to see my best friend?”

“Ow, you wound me! I didn’t know you still consider me your best friend.”

“Even though you up and left two years back, we still keep in contact so I assume so.”

Kuroo chuckled as he removed his jacket, dropping it on the bed as Kenma wrinkled his nose, “What the hell are you wearing?”

“What? It needs to go well with the bike.”

“It makes you look like an idiot.”

“Kenma! Not helping! Anyways, you haven’t told me why you came here. It's not like you to hop on a train and travel all the way out here to play videogames in my room.”

Kenma paused his game for a minute, setting it down in his lap as he turned to look at Kuroo. After Kuroo decided to go somewhere far from his family, Kenma had thought his friend would at least stay in the same school as him. Instead, he went to an entirely new prefecture (extra reassurance his father wouldn’t annoy the living shit out of him), leaving him all alone in Nekoma. While Kuroo seemed to enjoy his time in the prestigious Shiratorizawa Academy, Kenma wished he had at least stayed behind.

He felt very lonely just from skyping his best friend every other week instead of seeing him face to face.

“How are you doing, Kuroo? You seem a bit happier than usual.”

“Well we’re performing tomorrow and I have to finish so many assignments before then. I’m dreading about how it might turn out, Hinata didn’t come up with any lyrics today either and Kageyama didn’t say anything about it. The kid always has something to say so I was a bit worried something is going on between them.”

“Hinata?”

“Ah, the new kid in the band. He came in about a month or so ago and heck, he has this amazing singing voice? Just listening to him hum makes my blood buzz from adrenaline.” The smirk on Kuroo’s face reminded Kenma of the days when Kuroo had actually enjoy playing the violin before his mother died. His eyes had been wide with wonder and excitement, letting the music guide him as he played his song. Kenma admitted that Kuroo looked beautiful playing the violin but now with the drums, he seemed even freer.

“Well then, my little Neko-chan. Hope you will be taken aback by our show tomorrow. Speaking of which, did you get any dinner? I’m starving!”

“Nope. You’re cooking.”

“Kenma! Where’s your manners of bringing food for the host?”  
  


“Shouldn’t it be the host that serves?”

_Hinata. Kenma was excited to see what a guy who had enough power to change Kuroo’s outlook on music do on the stage._

…

Kageyama felt like smashing his head into the wall.

It was the day of the gig and before the gig actually began, all the bands had to run a practice run. Kageyama had sincerely prayed to whatever gods existed in the realms above would give them a miracle and that Hinata would play, but damn, that didn’t happen. Hinata had stood stock still as they played, not even touching the guitar slung around his body. Kageyama’s heart had pounded at the guitar and how much it reminded him of the vibrant boy that had captured Hinata’s heart. He could feel it trapping Hinata in the guilt its previous owner had given him, forcing him to shut out the feelings he needed to let out.

_Hinata, please. Sing. If it's not for me, at least do it for Miya-san._

“Ah, I think we should be ok for now. Even though Hinata hasn’t sung anything, we could back him up with our playing. We are an instrumental band after all,” Iwaizumi’s voice cut through the hum of noise filling Kageyama’s head.

_Why? Why did Hinata blame himself for it so much? Why was he hurting himself over it? Punishing himself even?_

“Sorry,” Hinata whispered as Kuroo clapped him on the back, “Don’t worry, chibi-chan. Everyone gets jitters before they go on stage. Go have a bit of fresh air, it might help you feel better.”

_Why didn’t he want to let it all out?_

“I’m fine, Kuroo-san.”

“Oh right! I should probably see where Kenma is at. The guy hates crowds. Look out for a puddinghead, that would be him.”

_Why did he want to remain so sad?_

“Oi, Hinata. Pull your shit together and focus. This is our first time performing as a band and you do not want to leave a bad impression,” Kageyama whispered as the group stopped talking.

“Kageyama, that’s a bit too harsh,” Iwaizumi started when Kageyama yelled, “Why are you making yourself so miserable?! You loved him right? So why do you want to wallow in your misery as though his ghost is still holding onto you? Why don’t you just sing and let it all out? Why don’t you just listen to what I have to say?”

_Ah, it was him being the tyrant king again._

_“Shut it, Kageyama! Music isn’t all about just following you dammit! What’s the point of playing when we can’t even keep up to your tune?” Kindaichi’s voice yelled as Kageyama tried to shut out the voice that followed._

_“Then play faster! Follow my lead! Just play to my beat, how hard is that?!”_

_“Your playing is ridiculous!”_

_“Then keep up! Don’t fall behind!”_

_No. this wasn’t happening. This wasn’t happening._

_He wasn’t trying to be like that to Hinata._

“Shut up!” Hinata yelled, his voice loud enough to make a few heads turn. Kageyama swore that he caught a flash of Atsumu in the crowd, although his hair seemed a bit off as Hinata snapped, “Why are you always butting into my business? Why do you need to drag me into this?”

“Huh?! I didn’t drag you into this!”  
  


“Hell, you did! Your playing was good and it reminded me of Atsumu so I thought I should take the chance and join the band. Instead, you force me to create lyrics for a song that was sung by my dead boyfriend and for what?! So the heavens can laugh at how pathetic I am?!”  
  


“Hey, you two, that’s enough!” Kuroo shouted as Kageyama reached for Hinata’s collar and slammed him against the wall at full force.

“I wanted to make you happy! Your music is beautiful so why do you keep silent about it?! Why don’t you want to show the world what you showed me?! Why don’t you want to show me the sight I had never seen before?!”

“Shut it, Bakayama! You don’t know anything about me!”

“Boke!”

“Hey, you two, knock it off!” Iwaizumi roared as he yanked the two of them apart, Kageyama breathing hard as Hinata slumped to his knees, holding his hands up to his ears as Kuroo bent down to pat him on the back.

“You, come with me. Kuroo, talk to Hinata,” Iwaizumi murmured as he shoved Kageyama to the exit. Kageyama didn’t show any restraint as he followed his senpai out, some of the onlookers shooting harsh whispers that sounded vaguely like “King” as he walked out.

“Hey, Hinata. Are you alright, chibi?” Kuroo asked as he knelt down next to Hinata, trying to rub circles in the boys’ back as the boy choked back a sob, “I can’t do this. I can’t. not when Atsumu isn’t here with me. I can’t stand on the stage without him.”

Hinata felt so cold and scared, alone on the stage. The lights blinded him as he looked up high, threatening to swallow him whole like Atsumu’s light had and destroying him.

“Hinata. You’re not alone in this. You have us,” Kuroo whispered as Hinata buried his face in his hands.

“You know, I had such bad stage fright in the past that I peed my pants. I thought I was going to die on the stage with the lights shining on top of me. I thought I was all alone to face the audience, the silence of the hall nearly killing me when the pianist behind me began to play. That was when I realise, I wasn’t alone in this.

I had someone to back me up on the stage. The accompanist, my grandparents in the audience, heck, even the audience themselves are supporting you by being there. You are never alone on the stage, Hinata. Cuz you have the three of us together with you. Whoever is on the stage, is your ally,” Kuroo said as someone snorted, “Kuroo, you sound so cheesy when you say that.”

“Come on, Kenma! Don’t ruin the moment!” Kuroo wailed as Kenma dropped to his knees, reaching out to push the hair falling in Hinata’s eyes.

“Hinata, right?” he asked as Hinata silently nodded.

“If Kuroo believes you are good, then you are. You showed him something that he thought he would never see, so I guess you’re an alright guy.”

Despite not knowing who had just spoken to him, Hinata slowly felt his chest loosen up a bit, his heartbeat slowing down as he felt himself think more calmly. As he held the guitar against his chest, he felt the ghost of Atsumu’s whisper in his ear, telling him to get up and play.

_“Come on, Shouyou. Let’s show them what we’re made of.”_

…

“Seriously, you need to cool your temper, Kageyama,” Iwaizumi groaned as Kageyama finally took a breath of air. After yelling at Hinata, he felt even more crushed at how much he must have hurt him. The street around them was quiet since they were near a housing area, the water in the canal bubbling in the background. Kageyama shivered in his shirt, the night air turning a bit more frigid then he would like when someone stepped in front of him. Despite how similar they looked, Kageyama could tell it wasn’t him.

“You’re Kageyama Tobio right? I heard Atsumu talking about you a couple of times on how good you are. Guess you can’t control your temper like the rumours said,” Osamu said as Iwaizumi snarled, “Don’t you dare start another fight.”

“What? I’m just saying the truth. Your friend calmed Shouyou down a bit in there, so you might want to go in and apologise,” Osamu said as he jerked a thumb back to the livehouse.

“You know what Atsumu would do in this situation? Normally he would kiss and make up with Shouyou, but I don’t think you two are ready for that yet. Another thing he would do is to tell him to play for him.” Kageyama rocked at his words as Osamu smirked, knowing he had hit a point as he walked forward to give Kageyama a pat on the shoulder.

“Atsumu would never forgive you if you hurt Shouyou, so get your ass in there and give us a good show,” Osamu said when someone yelled out his name from inside to call him in. Already, the sound of a band playing filled the evening air, Osamu giving them a nod before heading back in.

“Who the heck was that guy?” Iwaizumi asked as Kageyama sighed, turning to look up at the darkening sky. He could barely make out the few stars that managed to make their way past the light pollution of the city, the sky turning a pink and orange as the sun began to set.

It wasn’t Hinata’s time to go down; not when he was there.

“Iwaizumi-san, I will apologise for what happened earlier. Let’s go back in and play a good song,” Kageyama said as Iwaizumi smiled, watching as his kohai walked into the building with a new purpose in his shoulders.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey, this is the chapter you've all been waiting for. Hope you guys enjoy reading this!

By the time Kageyama came back, it was five minutes until they had to go onto the stage. After Iwaizumi had managed to drag Kuroo away from bickering with a certain pudding head boy, Kageyama found himself with Hinata as they made their way backstage.

Oh god, Kageyama hadn’t felt this nervous ever since he went onto the stage for the first time.

“Hinata, I…”

“It's alright. You were stressed about the gig,” Hinata said as Kageyama sucked in a breath.

“That doesn’t mean I had to shout at you like that. I’m sorry.”

Hinata said nothing as Kuroo called them to go backstage, Iwaizumi already prepping his drums when Kageyama realised that it was already their turn. Suddenly, his guitar felt too heavy on his shoulder as he reached to grab Hinata’s hand and tug him towards the stage.

“Hinata, once this is over, there is something I want to tell you.”

Hinata didn’t say a word as they walked onto the stage, the audience shielded from view by a large blackout curtain drawn in front of them. The boy silently set up their instruments, Kageyama’s gaze fixed on Hinata as he stood in front of the microphone. He was staring at it intently, the light shining off his orange curls when Kageyama gulped.

He couldn’t wait to see what Hinata had in store for them.

…

A wall blocks his path before his eyes. A high, high wall.

_“Hinata, eyes on me,” Atsumu smirked against his lips as they stood on stage, the audience shielded from view as Atsumu peppered him with kisses. Hinata didn’t want to get a hickey before they performed but just being held by Atsumu was enough to calm his nerves._

What sort of scene is on the other side? What will he be able to see there?

_“Let me show you a sight you have never seen before,” Atsumu smiled, kissing Hinata one more time, reaching to hold his guitar as he raised his finger in the air to signal the operator to raise the curtain. The sound of the crowd was deafening as Atsumu waved to the crowd, smiling as he struck up a tune on his guitar, his honey voice filling the room as the crowd swayed to his music._

_Atsumu’s smile rocked him to the core as Hinata played, his eyes opening up to the colours erupting before his eyes and the music that played on every fibre of his being._

The view from the top.

He would never be able to see it on his own.

But… if he wasn’t alone, then… he might be able to see it.

“Oi, Hinata. Let’s do this,” Kageyama smiled as he raised his hand into the air to signal the operator to lift the curtains. Hinata nodded as he turned to face the front, the curtain slowly being raised to reveal the crowd cheering from beyond. From the sea of heads, he could pick out a few familiar faces such as Suna and Osamu standing at the back, Osamu with a small smile on his face as he gave him a thumbs up. Natsu was standing on a high stool, cheering her brother’s name as she waved at him. Kenma stood near the corner of the room, his hood pulled over his head, although Hinata caught the glimpse of yellow eyes staring straight at him.

That’s right. He wasn’t alone.

The audience. The band behind him. Iwaizumi. Kuroo. Kageyama. They were all there with him.

Together, they will see a sight they have always wanted to see.

The sound of Iwaizumi clashing his drumsticks filled the air as the band began to play, the barrage of music hitting his ears like a wave as Hinata’s fingers automatically began to play to the beat. His fingers moved on their own accord, playing the tune that Kageyama had been asking him to play as Hinata’s eyes trekked to the microphone shining under the bright lights hanging above them. He felt himself being drawn to it as he heard two voices speaking in his mind; one from his past and one from his present.

_“Come, sing for me, Shouyou!”_ Atsumu and Kageyama’s voices spoke as one as Hinata opened his mouth and sang.

Just like the shade of snow  
That hasn't completely melted  
I continue on with these feelings inside me  
Hey, with what words  
Should I close the door on this love?

_The scene where Hinata first met Atsumu played before his eyes, the soft hum of Atsumu’s voice carrying in the wind as he sang. Hinata felt himself being dragged into his world of music and colour, reaching out to grasp onto the straws of his fate as Atsumu looked at him through hooded eyes and a smile._

_“Let me teach you how to play.”_   
  
  


Your everything has lost its tomorrow  
And now is wandering around eternally  
Along with me  
Who was unable to say goodbye or move on  
  


_Hinata couldn’t move as Atsumu leaned into him, his kiss soft as he melted into it. Hinata gripped the back of the bench as he braced himself, Atsumu licking his bottom lip to let Hinata squeak as he chuckled. It was spring and the sakura petals were still hanging above their heads but the moment they kissed, it was as though spring had finally come, the trees shedding their flowers to cover the boys in a flurry of pink petals._

_“I love you, Shouyou. Will you go out with me?”_

_Hinata smiled as he grabbed Atsumu’s shirtfront, kissing him harder until he was breathless. He wanted to feel every curve of his lips, every curve of his body, memorise it all and burn it into his mind forever._

_“Yes, baka. I will.”_

  
Just like a spell that still won't break  
Or some kind of curse  
I'm still holding on to some heavy baggage  
Hey, what kind of tomorrow  
Am I supposed to look for in this town?  
Ah...  
  


_“Hinata, hey, babe. Look at me,” Atsumu whispered as Hinata turned to face him. His body hurt so so much, not just from singing from the night before, but also what Atsumu had done once they had reached the comforts of his bedroom._

_He would do it all over again._

_The bedsheets fell around Atsumu’s hips as he reached out to cup Hinata’s cheek, bringing him into a soft kiss as Hinata growled against it when he heard a text message coming in from Atsumu’s phone. The boy sighed, kissing Hinata as he reached for his phone, bringing it to his face to scowl._

_“You two are making such a hell of a noise! Haven’t you heard of a love hotel?” Osamu had typed as Atsumu tossed the phone onto his bedside table and turned to grin at Hinata._

_“Now, where were we Shouyou?”_   
  


  
The cold tears that fall  
Freeze under the sky  
They pretend to be kind  
And around the time, they fall down my face  
Two people who were always together are torn apart  
That's all there is to this story

_“Shouyou. Shouyou. Shouyou,” Atsumu whispered in his ear as he held onto him. Hinata didn’t want to let him go as Atsumu’s fingers dug into his shirt. They no longer had the strength the once had as they stroked Hinata’s back before moving to his neck, bringing Hinata forward to let his face rest in the crook of Atsumu’s neck, the other boy sobbing into his lover’s shoulder._

_“Shouyou. Please stay by my side.”_

Hinata’s heart cracked as the scenes went through his mind, his throat letting out an anguished scream as he recalled the day that he broke off from Atsumu. He would never forgive himself for what had happened, even if it was a thousand lifetimes later.

Because he broke the promise Atsumu had entrusted him with.

_“Why don’t you look at me? I’m here for you! I’m trying to help you get better so why don’t you even see me as someone who cares for you?!” Hinata screamed as his boyfriend gripped his shoulders, his grip tight enough to draw blood as he yelled._

_“I don’t know! For all I know, you might leave me!”_

_“Why do you think I would even leave you, you dumbass?!”_

_“Because I’m tying you down with everything that has happened so far! With me being this emotional wreck, you can’t go about your life! Your life is revolving around mine now. So please… Shouyou.. please…” Atsumu whispered as he balled his fists into Hinata’s shirt before putting his head against his shoulder, wet tears soaking through it as he said, “Please leave me be.”_

Why did he leave him when he needed him most?

Hinata can never phantom why he made that mistake.

When Atsumu died, it was as though the world had been reduced to static, nothing reaching his ears as he walked through the streets. All the colours had been dulled in his eyes, his mind never quite connecting with the outside world as Atsumu’s memory haunted his mind.

The bench where Atsumu had confessed to him.

The locker room where they made out multiple times.

The small convenience store Hinata had almost died from embarrassment when Atsumu had swung by to get some supplies as the cashier stared at them.

The ice cream store where Atsumu would always order matcha ice cream and share it with Hinata.

The music store where Hinata and Atsumu had bought their guitars together.

He could never rid himself of his guilt.

Despite that, he hated Atsumu for leaving him.

He would never forgive him for leaving him all alone.

At the same time, Hinata could never forgive himself for leaving Atsumu alone and driving him to suicide.

But deep down, Hinata wished he could wrap his boyfriend in his arms and whisper the words to him once more; that he loved him and wanted to ask for forgiveness.

Because after all this time, he still missed him. So so much.

Even if your everything loses its shape one day  
You'll always be here within me  
As I try to move forward again, even though I couldn't say goodbye  
You'll always be here with me

As he finished off the song, Hinata looked off into the back of the room when he saw Atsumu smiling at him. He was still wearing the uniform he had died in, as young as he had been the day he died, and there was a smile on his face.

“Shouyou,” his mouth shaped as Hinata tried to stop himself from crying. How he wanted to rush to him and throw him into his arms, to just tell him one last time that he loved him so much.

And then, it was all over. Hinata felt the strings detaching from his body as he stumbled, the energy leaving him as he bumped into a solid chest. Strong arms wrapped around him and steered him off the stage, Iwaizumi and Kuroo’s voices asking them to come back as he was steered away. As Hinata looked into the black shirt that Kageyama always wore, he felt himself sink into him, letting the guitarist lead him to the backstage as Kuroo spoke into the mike.

“Eh, that went very well didn’t it? We didn’t actually have any lyrics for this song until today but our vocalist, Hinata Shouyou really wowed you guys didn’t he? This is the Flightless Crows, and we are about to jam to a new tune, once our guitarist comes back. You might know him as Kageyama Tobio, the king of the stage…” Kuroo said as Hinata felt Kageyama’s hands moving to his shoulders. When he looked up at him, Kageyama’s eyes were unreadable as Hinata whispered.

“Thank you, for everything. Thank you for showing me the sight I always wanted to see. Tha…” Hinata’ words were cut off as lips collided with his, Kageyama leaning into him as he cupped the back of his head to steady him. Before he knew it, it was all over, Kageyama’s hands moving to touch his face.

His hands were so gentle, even though they had been playing the guitar for years.

“You did so well, Shouyou. Leave it to me and rest. I’m going to play them another song.”

Kageyama rushed past him back to the stage, the crowd screaming his name as the band began to play once more. Hinata slumped onto the stairs, all the energy finally leaving him as his guitar slid onto his lap. The music from beyond pounded the walls as Hinata looked at the door, realisation hitting him as a voice spoke up.

“Man, Shouyou. You really kept that guy waiting, didn’t you?” Atsumu laughed as he stood in front of him, hands in his pockets as Hinata smiled weakly.

“I was always a bit of a moron in love,” he said as Atsumu laughed, reaching down to ruffle his hair.

“I love you. But its time for you to let me go.”

“I can never let you go, Tsumu. Never.”

“I know. Which is why… you should look at the sight before your eyes.”

Hinata felt his breath hitch as Atsumu placed a hand on his head. He didn’t know if he was imagining it, but he felt warmth flowing from it as Atsumu stooped to give him a peck on the head.

“Now, Shouyou. Its time to let it all out.”

As he stepped back, Hinata felt the tears coming from his eyes, sobbing his heart out as he cried for the first time in a very long time.   
  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised I had two chapters labelled as chapter 13 and I'm too lazy to take down chapter 15 so here's a bonus chapter for you guys!

“Tobio! Are you going to school today?” Reiko called up the stairs as she sighed, turning to go up the stairs and knock on her son’s door. There was a slight shifting noise inside, followed by a grunt that sounded vaguely like, “Not going anywhere today.” Reiko knew her son wouldn’t budge once he made up his mind not to leave the house, letting him go for the day since he must have been exhausted from his gig the night before. When he had come trailing into the house at nearly midnight last night and slunk off into the kitchen to get a glass of milk, Reiko didn’t know if she should bring up the fact that she had secretly gone to see her son play for the first time.

His song had been so beautiful, it brought tears to her eyes. Hinata Shouyou sent waves of emotions through her heart, making her sob as she thought of how lonely the boy was as he stood on the stage. As he sang a song of heartbreak and love, she wished she could wrap him up in her arms and tell him that he was no longer alone, that Tobio was beside him now.

Her son had gazed at him with such ferocity Reiko felt herself getting blown away. The face her son had given, the smile that had burst across his features was a look that he only reserved for the guitar. She herself had barely gotten that look from him and now, he was giving it to a certain boy singing a song of loving another.

Ah, so that’s why he had been so engrossed in music lately.

Reiko smiled as she had gone home, Hinata’s voice filling her mind as she drove. When she pulled into the driveway and stepped into the house, her husband was seated in the living room, sipping some tea as he watches his wife walk over to him and gives him a peck on the head.

Kageyama Sasuke was just like his son; impassive face, a scowl that made people think he was going to murder them, his tone blunt towards everyone, even to his own wife but deep down, he was a softie that yearned for hugs and kisses. Reiko managed to fall in love with such a man by looking past hi features and seeing him for who he was underneath; a kind and loving husband.

“Reiko. You had overtime today?” Sasuke asked as Reiko dropped into the seat next to his, allowing him to sling an arm across her shoulder.

“Tobio had a gig today.”

“Ah, one of those. I wished I could have gone but I had a meeting today and I don’t think my ears would do great in that environment.” Reiko laughed as she pictured him trying to listen to a bunch of teenagers playing on the stage, her hand moving to hold onto his as she whispered, “Our baby boy has grown up so much.”

Not just in his features, his body looking more like a man and his face slowly losing his baby fat. It felt just like yesterday when Tobio had been all tiny and glaring, his eyes beady and his scowl present even as an infant. He had scared a lot of people who tried to cuddle him as an infant and Reiko had despaired that no one might see past his looks until Hinata came along.

_“Shouyou, I give you two my blessing,”_ Reiko thought as she snuggled up against her husband, smiling as she thought of whether she had done enough to support Tobio as a mother.

…

Oikawa Tooru had been to many performances, but none like this. Sure, he had gone to big concerts by celebrities while he was in America but when he had walked into the small livehouse that Iwaizumi had sent him the address to, he felt as though he might have made a mistake and walked into something that wasn’t as grand. He had been showered with grandeur for most of his life that he almost forgot how it was like to be with the peasants.

Sometimes, being the Grand King could be very lonely.

Everyone who tried to coddle with him only wanted his reputation as a musician. Whenever someone tried to hook up with him, it was for connections and pleasure. Oikawa never once felt any love or warmth coming from his partners, his heart yearning for even a single soul to understand until he met him.

A chiselled broad-shouldered volleyball player who had come to America for a training camp. His face was always set in a scowl as people tried to talk to him, his words always blunt and sharp as he tried to get past. Oikawa had no idea why he had fallen for him in the first place, but maybe it was because he was actually sincere with his words when he spoke to him.

It made Oikawa feel almost human again.

_“You’re going home?” Ushijima had asked as he lay in the bed, Oikawa moving around the room as he packed his stuff. The place was cluttered with music sheets and clothes that Oikawa had failed to wash but the boy didn’t mind since that was one of Oikawa’s quirks. He might have to teach him to be a bit more civilised if he ever wanted him to live with him permanently._

_“I need a bit of fresh air, Ushiwaka-chan. Staying so far from home for so long can be so… suffocating.”_

_“Even with me around?” Ushijima asked as Oikawa slipped onto the bed to give him a peck on the head._

_“You know I love you, you big idiot. It's just for a few weeks and I will be back here in no time.”_

_Ushijima nodded as Oikawa continued to pack his stuff. He watched as his fingers moved with grace and precision, working quickly as he tried to stuff clothes into his suitcase. Ushijima couldn’t help but think that if Oikawa hadn’t gone into music and had instead gone into volleyball, perhaps he might have been a very good setter and an ally on the court._

_Well, he could continue dreaming of that version of Oikawa. Perhaps in a different lifetime, he might be able to live through that experience._

Oikawa flipped through his social media accounts as he took snapshots of the livehouse. One thing good about being famous was that people were always praising him for wherever he went, although it got a bit tiring when he wanted some alone time with Ushijima. He had no idea how he survived in New York without having gotten caught with Ushijima in toll for the past year or so.

A few girls giggled as they passed by, Oikawa giving them a few winks as he berated himself for being unloyal to Ushijima. Trying to block out thoughts of flirting, he turned his attention to the crowd, searching for Iwaizumi. It had always been Iwaizumi that looked for him whenever they were at a concert, hauling his ass back to the backstage to prepare after he had a wild time chatting up with some fans. Oikawa had been lucky he hadn’t gotten a black eye before a performance given how Iwaizumi would manhandle him.

The performances slowly began and Oikawa felt himself getting bored. Rock music wasn’t his forte, his ears having been tuned to the fine classical music he had played for so long. Rock and pop were too loud for his ears, untamed and ferocious, not gentle like classical music. He made a mental note of how he was going to tease Iwaizumi about it when his best friend was revealed on the stage, the curtains rising to reveal his band to the crowd as a short orange boy sang into the mike.

_“Iwa-chan, you will always be with me, will you?”_

_Oikawa’s eyes widened as he saw two small children playing by a stream before his eyes, one of them much scrawnier than the tanned kid running in front of him with a bug net in his hands. The other boy wore an alien shirt covered with dirt, sniffling as his friend reached out to pull him along._

_“Sure, Tooru.”_

_“Ahh! I can’t seem to get this right!” Oikawa yowled as Iwaizumi slammed a fist into his head, “Come on, Shittykawa! Don’t just whine and actually practice!”_

_Both of them stood on the stage, Iwaizumi playing as Oikawa stunned the crowd with his violin. As the crowd applauded, Oikawa turned to see that Iwaizumi only had eyes for him, a large smile on his face as Oikawa bowed to the crowd._

_“Iwa-chan! Why are you leaving me?” Oikawa begged as he collapsed into his desk. His breath grew more unsteady as he clutched his shirt, trying to calm himself down as he broke down into sobs. Why, of all times, did he have to fight with Iwaizumi?_

_Why, when he wanted to tell him that he just might have a crush on his best friend?_

_“Oikawa Tooru. A pleasure to meet you,” Oikawa tried to smile as countless people shook his hands. He could never remember their names or faces, all memories of them removed from his mind as he tried to navigate through his life in New York. Despite his talents, he was nothing in the Big Apple, where there were countless musicians who could play a hundred times better than him without so much batting an eyelid while he had to battle fatigue and sleepless nights trying to catch up to them._

_He was lonely. So so lonely._

_Oikawa didn’t know why he had gone to the game. He never thought about volleyball, much less played it but somehow, with the free tickets he had got in his hands to see the under-19 Japan volleyball team face up the American volleyball team, he had gone to the stadium, unsure of what he would expect when he heard a slam hitting the ground. He nearly yelled as a ball sailed to his face, his hands barely able to catch it as cheers rose from the crowd, a single name filling the air as he looked at the owner of the name._

_“Go go, Ushijima! Ushijima!” the crowd roared as Oikawa looked down at the player who had spiked the ball so hard, it had ricocheted off the ground and flew up to the stands. Oikawa’s hands felt hot from the friction as the player in question ran up to him and bowed in apology. Oikawa just waved him off as he gave the ball back, the wing spiker looking at him in the eye as Oikawa felt a smirk curling on his face._

_This guy is actually quite hot._

_“Ushijima Wakatoshi. I’m sorry for what happened just now,” he rumbled as Oikawa shrugged. He couldn’t help it that hot guys like to try to get his attention by spiking balls in his face. Instead, he turned to eye the volleyball player as a smirk curled on his lips._

_“How long will you be here?”_

_“A year or so. I’m undergoing intensive training here in one of their sports academies.”_

_“Oho. If that’s the case, you want to go for lunch with me? It's on you, since you nearly ruined my face.”_

_“Of course.”_

Dummy, don’t you realise this is a date?

_“Maybe I should introduce myself. I’m…”_

_“Oikawa Tooru. I’ve seen you on television many times. It's an honour to meet you. I’ve listened to your music for years ever since you debuted and your violin is one of the ways I could soothe myself before an important match.”_

_“What…” Oikawa yelped as is face went hot, his mind going into overdrive as he forgot how to play it cool, instead of reaching to grab the sweaty player by the arm and dragging him down the road._

_“How about we go eat now and we can talk about my expenditures in more privacy?”_

Ah, its been so long since Oikawa had felt that.

As wave after wave of emotions hit his mind, Oikawa could feel himself having to hold himself up. The band was cooking up a storm with their song, the guitarists playing with such ferocity even Oikawa felt he was going to get swallowed by their song. Iwaizumi was ever-present on the stage, his hands moving to hit the drums with precision as Oikawa saw the look on his face and how happy he was.

He felt himself relax a little, knowing that at least now, the two of them had found a new path in life and that they were both happy in them.

_“Ah, you really did pick up a monster, did you, Iwa-chan?”_ Oikawa smiled as the song finished, silence filling the air before the crowd went wild.

…

Miya Osamu was the complete opposite of his twin.

While he was all noise and making a fuss out of things, Osamu was the calmer twin, taking things to stride and not panicking if something went wrong. While Atsumu would go into a bad mood when he was yelled at by their mother for not doing chores, Osamu will help him get out of the slump, one way or another.

He thought he would be doomed to babysit him forever until Hinata came into their lives.

The moment Hinata stepped into their lives, Osamu knew that Atsumu was changed. He did everything he could to make Hinata happy, changing his bad habits and even coming up with ways to surprise him. Osamu had always felt that Atsumu was a bit too selfish, always thinking about himself when he made a decision.

While Osamu had gone into volleyball, Atsumu had drifted off into music even when they fought about who would be better suited with music or playing volleyball.

Osamu came to accept Hinata as his own brother, although he sometimes wished they would do their business somewhere far from him. While he did enjoy seeing his brother happy, it was making him go nuts when he had to hear them making out in the room next door. Despite their antics, he prayed they would be happy for years to come until they got into the accident and Atsumu couldn’t play anymore.

He thought if he let Hinata bring him out of his slump, everything would be fine.

He was tired of taking care of his twin, wanting someone else to do it for a very long time.

When Hinata broke off things with Atsumu, he hadn’t been surprised since he was wondering how long Hinata could take Atsumu’s selfishness. Atsumu stayed in his room for days, not even eating when he brought food to his door. Osamu assumed it was just one of his slumps where he didn’t eat or sleep for days until he received the call from Hinata.

Once there were two.

Now, there was only one.

Osamu couldn’t stop blaming himself for what happened. As his parents mourned over their lost son, Osamu threw himself into volleyball and played. Played until he was to the point of breaking when his body screamed in pain and his mind begged him to come to his senses. He wanted to wash away all the guilt from his mind and when Hinata left, he felt even more alone.

So when he saw Hinata with his new band, he was surprised to see him carrying Atsumu’s guitar on his back. He thought Hinata would never ever play music again, but as he looked at the person standing next to him, he slowly felt as though the person was taking over his brother’s place and filling the void in Hinata’s heart.

He wanted to tell him that Hinata was still mourning and he didn’t need anyone else in his life, so he went to the livehouse, only to be blown away by their performance.

Hinata was shining on the stage, more alive than he had ever been with Atsumu.

Watching them play reminded him of his happy days with his twin, both of them still together as they explored the world together. Osamu’s lip trembled as Hinata sang, reminding him of the past he had tried so hard to bury in his grief, the past that linked him to Atsumu forever.

_“Samu, we’ll always be together right?” Atsumu asked as Osamu sighed, reaching to pull his younger brother into a hug as the younger boy giggled against him, “Always. Tsumu. Always.”_

“Osamu,” a voice spoke as Suna tugged onto his sleeve, jerking Osamu out of his thoughts as he felt tears falling from his eyes. He sniffled as he tried to wipe it away, the tears not wanting to stop. Suna pulled him into an embrace as the older Miya twin sobbed, soothing him as Osamu cried for the brother he had lost.

_“Atsumu, you moron. You left for heaven to leave this angel stuck on this earth.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for UshiOi. Dont kill me!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally decided how many chapters this story is going to be and after writing it all out, hope I manage to end it all on a high note. Might do a sequel in the future for the others but for the time being, just going to leave it as it is. 
> 
> Also, some spoilers from chapter 387 of the manga will be in here so if you haven't read about the latest character introductions in that, you have been warned (I know I should have added it before but I started writing this story before the chapter was released and when it came out, I knew I had to add them in here somehow.)
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the story!

Kageyama Tobio felt that he was screwed for all eternity.

No matter how much he tried to console himself that

  1. He must have been dreaming it (he didn’t remember anything from what happened on the stage until he headed home)
  2. He must have 100% been dreaming it because there was no freaking way he could have done it
  3. He must have been absolutely dreaming it because Hinata had leaned into the kiss.
  4. There was no way in hell he KISSED HINATA SHOUYOU BECAUSE HE HAD NO BLINKING CLUE HOW TO KISS!



“Oh shit, what did I do?” Kageyama moaned as he covered his blushing face with his hands, his face burning so red he thought he might actually die there and then. Kageyama was going mad at the prospect that he might have just made Hinata make him hate him forever and ever. He had wild images of Hinata turning away and walking out of his life, disgusted of him taking advantage of him being vulnerable at that moment. Kageyama gripped his pillow and held it into his face, screaming into it as his mother came and knocked on the door.

“Tobio, are you going to school?” she called as he grunted a no, his mind too much in a whirl to even focus on what the heck had just happened. He heard his mother sigh as she walked down the stairs, her footsteps fading as she stepped out of the house to get to work. Now that she was finally gone, he could mourn for himself in peace.

_Ok, calm down. Calm down, Tobio. Just freaking calm down. It was just a kiss. Nothing else. We didn’t do anything illegal, did we? And Hinata seemed to like it and all so it can’t be all bad right?_

_Oh shit. Did Hinata even make it back alright? What happened if he was reminded of his boyfriend and…_

“Tobio! Can you pipe down?! I’m trying to sleep,” a female voice floated down the hall as Kageyama lifted his pillow just in time for the door to crack open and for a pillow to sail into his face, hitting him square in the nose as he yelped.

“Miwa Nii-chan?! What the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Tokyo or something?” he yelped as his older sister stood at the door, hands on her hips and a mask on her face, making her look a bit like a kappa as she growled, “I got back yesterday! Don’t tell me you forgot what today is, haven’t you?”

Suddenly, a lightbulb lit up in Kageyama’s head as he mentally cursed himself once more for having forgotten such an important event. While the Kageyama siblings had a bit of a falling out after Miwa had left playing music after she fell in love with the drummer in her band, Kageyama hadn’t quite managed to make up with her. Music had been the one thing that tied them together as well as serving as a reminder of the man who taught them how to play; Kageyama Kazuyo.

While their grandfather had been a bit of a nut in trying to make his grandkids play musical instruments as soon as they can walk, he was their entire world with their parents being out of the house most of the time. His own son had no interest in music despite his father once owning a music shop and even playing in a band in his spare time. Despite his old age, he could still create music that charmed everyone, giving his grandchildren something to look forward to every day when their parents were not home.

“Now, if you would stop your moaning and get dressed, we can still make it to the graveyard before afternoon. I have to get back to Tokyo by four for a photoshoot I’m having to style for and I don’t want to miss it,” Miwa snarled as she slammed the door, the door shaking in its hinges as Kageyama flopped back onto the bed, slowly removing his sister’s pillow from his face before turning to look at the ceiling.

_The lights burned his eyelids even as he tried to close them, sweat pouring from his brow as he furrowed them, praying none of it would get into his eyes. His fingers stung from playing for so long, blisters already forming on his finger pads but he kept playing, Hinata’s song pulling him along in its current. As he looked up to stare at the singer, his heart melted at how beautiful and sad Hinata looked as he played, the song he sang bringing out memories of Kageyama’s time with his grandfather as he taught him how to play._

_“Tobio-kun, if you get really good, I promise you. Somebody who is even better will come and find you.”_

_Those words had been forgotten by Kageyama when his grandfather had passed and everyone around him seemed to drift away, leaving a chasm between them as he tried to get to the other side. No matter how much he practised, no matter how much he tried to aim for the summit, he couldn’t reach there. But Hinata came into his life and swept him away, drowning him in his song and for once, he felt he could finally stand together with someone._

“Ojichan, how did I forget your words?” Kageyama whispered as he pressed a hand to his face as he tried to stop himself from crying.

He hadn’t realised how much he missed his grandfather.

…

“Morning, Shouyou,” Osamu called as he walked over to where Hinata stood. Hinata smiled, waving back at Osamu as the two began to walk down the road, dressed in plain everyday clothes instead of their school uniforms. Both of them hadn’t gone to school that day, but they have a very special reason to have ditched classes.

Hinata hadn’t gone visit Atsumu since his death, always fearing that when he stood in front of the grave, he wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears. While he hadn’t cried during the funeral because of the shock he had been in, he knew that if he saw the painful reality that his boyfriend was gone, he would surely crumble.

Osamu had been the one who suggested that they meet up and walk to visit Atsumu, even saying he was going to miss volleyball practice despite the fact they were going to play in the Interhigh. Inarizaki was a favourite to win and go to Nationals that year, and with Osamu being their ace, they needed him at every practice they could get.

“Are you nervous about the Interhigh?” Hinata asked as they walked, a few people turning to stare at the two boys who were supposed to be in school. Osamu shrugged as he dug his hands into his pockets, his backpack covering the words “Inarizaki Volleyball Club” on his back.

“No point worrying about it. I’ve practised hard enough so what happens happens. I will do what I can to help my team win, and then, we will go to Nationals,” Osamu murmured as Hinata winked, “So, is it because you finally managed to realise that Suna is a bit more than a fellow player?’’

“Zip it.”

“Come on, its been years! You’ve been pining him since middle school, try and ask him out before the chance slips away.”

“Fine fine! I will confess to him once we win Nationals. And only if we win Nationals. If an ace is unable to support his entire team, how is he going to support the person he cares for most. Come on… I couldn’t even protect my baby brother,” Osamu whispered as he clenched his fist, Hinata worried that he had stepped on a landmine when Osamu took a breath.

“Atsumu would probably laugh at me not having the guts to take to the court and worrying over things like this. Maybe after I rant to him about it, I might have the courage to do what needs to be done.”

Hinata slowly nods, a small smile spreading on his lips as they neared their destination. They stopped by the flower shop to get some flowers, Osamu offering to pay it (it's my stupid brother, after all, he would probably be calling me a stinge if I didn’t pay). Hinata had always wondered why Atsumu had said his favourite flowers were sunflowers and when Atsumu had told him the reason, he felt himself light up like a Christmas tree.

He said it was because they were bright like the sun, like Hinata’s hair that was the sun in his universe.

The two boys climbed up the stone steps leading to the graveyard, the trees shading them from the harsh afternoon sun. Osamu grunted as he rolled up his sleeves, cursing that he should have probably just worn a shirt, finally reaching the top. Osamu’s feet carried him to the family grave, Hinata’s heart slamming against his chest as he saw the name Miya rise up from the rows of black marble. Osamu excused himself to get the cleaning supplies for the grave, leaving Hinata alone for a while as he finally turned to look at the grave.

“Atsumu, long time no see.”

It hurt to see the painful reality of Atsumu being buried in front of him. Slowly, he knelt down, setting the flowers in the bamboo holder on the small altar, arranging it as he spoke.

“I finally came to see you, dummy. I don’t even know how I should tell you this, but I joined a band for real. For a long time, I couldn’t hear any music, couldn’t play anything, because I couldn’t feel your warmth around me when I played. But when I chanced going to the roof one day in school, I heard him play, and it reminded me of how you used to playback then.

He made me join the band, saying that I should at least see if they were good. Kuroo-san and Iwaizumi-san are amazing, they know how to play and make sure we don’t do anything stupid. Especially Bakayama, he lets his temper get the better out of him most of the time. Even though I didn’t play anything, couldn’t play anything, they let me stay and listen to their music. It reminded me of how we played together, me fading into the background as you took o the stage.

Then Kageyama asked me to sing, and I did. I actually sang the song that you hummed, the one you said that you might turn into a song. It was supposed to be a song for me, but somehow, it ended up with me singing it for you. I had no idea how I wanted to sing, what I wanted to sing. I had so much to say, so much to tell you, all in a single song. I don’t know if I did it right.

It’s been a year since you left me, dummy. It's lonely without you, you know? I wished you were there to see me sing. The stage felt cold without you, almost lonely. I missed you kissing me before and after playing, sweeping me off my feet. I wished I could feel your embrace once more. I wanted you to tell me that I was alright to move on, and I think you have given me that.

I will always love you, Atsumu. No matter how much time has passed, I will always remember you. My first love, the first to my many things. I hated you for leaving me, for leaving me all alone. I couldn’t forgive myself for letting you do that to yourself, but I couldn’t forgive you for leaving me, for leaving Osamu and your parents behind. It was so selfish of you, but deep down, I want to forgive you.”

Hinata sniffled as tears rolled down from his eyes, dripping onto the altar as he leaned against the marble, the surface cold and coated with grime although he didn’t care less about it as he whispered, “I forgive you, Atsumu. Even though I miss you so, so much. And also, I think I might have found someone else.”

Hinata didn’t know when it started, but he thinks it all began when the single note was played in the air one spring day on the rooftop of Karasuno High School. Dark blue eyes stared back at him, a smile on his face as black hair whipped around his shoulders, his black guitar gleaming in the sunlight as both boys locked eyes onto each other.

At that moment, Hinata found love for the second time in Kageyama Tobio.

“Shouyou, here’s the cleaning supplies,” Osamu spoke as Hinata turned to see him standing with a bucket and scrubs in his hands. Hinata didn’t know how long he had been standing there, but he must have hard snippets of what happened, especially with how he felt about Kageyama.

“Osamu, I…”

“Don’t worry about it. My idiot brother wouldn’t have been happy to see you tied down to him anyway. Even though he’s a selfish bastard, he wouldn’t want his love to be sad all the time,” Osamu said as he brought the scrub and began scrubbing at the marble, the dirt and grime slowly coming off. Bit by bit, the Miya family gravestone began to shine, both boys finishing by lighting incense and saying their prayers, clapping their hands together as they bowed in silence. As Hinata opened his eyes and looked up, movement at the side caught his attention, his eyes turning to see Kageyama standing a few rows away from him, a woman by his side as his eyes widened.

“Hinata?”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... we're finally at the end of this story.
> 
> Whelp its been a crazy two weeks-ish of writing this but I'm so happy we made it safe and sound here. I honestly didn't think this story would turn out well but I'm glad that some of you stuck around until the end. 
> 
> So, may I present to you the final chapter of "You will Always be There with Me".
> 
> Enjoy.

The drive to the graveyard couldn’t get any more awkward.

Miwa wasn’t that bad of a driver (at least Kageyama thought since their mother had always been a mad driver and Kageyama’s standards for good driving were so low, they were almost none existent since his only criteria for good driving was that he didn’t bang his head on the window at every turn). After not talking to her for years since she rarely came home after moving in with her boyfriend in Tokyo, Kageyama had no idea what to talk to her considering the only thing going on for him in his brain was music and guitars.

“How’s things with Semi-san?”

“Oh, Eita is ok. He’s liking playing in his band and everything even though he had a bit of trouble trying to secure some deals. He’s supposed to go on tour soon around Japan so that’s going to be exciting. He keeps trying not to sound so excited about now being able to perform for a huge audience,” she smiled, reaching to put a lock behind her ear. While her boyfriend could be a bit volatile and had a scowl that matched the Kageyama siblings to a fault, he was a good musician who aimed for the world stage with his band “Mighty Falcons” with his bandmates Tendou, Reon and a kid named Goshiki.

Despite that, Kageyama couldn’t help but feel a bit of resentment towards him for being the reason his sister quit music and chose to support him instead.

“He was even thinking about maybe settling down soon.”

“Aren’t you two technically living with each other now?”

“That isn’t the same if we got married and have kids…”

Kids… Kageyama would probably die if he had to deal with tiny babies running around the Kageyama household. Whenever he looked at them, they always seemed to cry and run for it. It wasn’t his fault that he was born with a face like that.

Funny that the only ones who could tolerate it were Kuroo, Iwaizumi (both of them just found his scowl very amusing) and Hinata.

“Speaking of which, what the hell were you doing in your room last night? You came back past midnight and made so much squeaky noises in your room I thought someone had finally smashed a guitar in your head for saying something. Or don’t tell me,” she grinned as Kageyama gulped, “you finally have a crush on someone!”  
  


“NO!” he yelled as Miwa laughed, clapping him on the back as the car swerved a little, a fellow driver honking at them as Miwa brought both hands back to the steering wheel.

  
“What’s this? My little brother who only ever lived and breathed music likes someone that isn’t made out of wood? Is this the end of everything or are you actually fantasising about this Hinata person?”

The blush on Kageyama’s cheeks made his sister laugh even harder and nearly got themselves killed on the road as she laughed. Kageyama wanted to bury himself in a hole right now and just disappear from the face of the earth when they finally reached their destination, the sign of the graveyard yawning above their heads as Miwa pulled into a parking spot.

“Why don’t you go see Ojichan first? I’ll go grab some flowers and cleaning supplies. Besides, you might need a bit more privacy to tell him about your beloved Hinata,” she grinned as Kageyama sputtered, walking up the stairs as quickly as he could to get away from his sister. He didn’t remember her being such a menace; maybe her boyfriend’s band was finally starting to get into her.

Kageyama had only been to his family grave twice in his life; the first time was when his grandfather had been buried and the second was on the eve of his first anniversary. That moment had been too painful for Kageyama, who had fresh wounds from having been rejected by his bandmates and messing things up on the stage. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything to his grandfather and had walked away, never going back until Miwa had decided to drag him there that day.

Somehow, he managed to find the grave, which was beginning to get covered with moss and dirt. A few stray leaves littered the top of the gravestone, Kageyama watching as they got blown away by the wind as he stuffed his hands deeper in his pockets.

“Kazuyo-san. Sorry for not visiting you for a while. I… I’ve had a lot of mishaps and I didn’t want to face you and make you sad in heaven. For a time, I couldn’t hear any music, couldn’t remember how to play it. I was struggling to find people I trust, people to connect with on the stage that would play with me. It left me all alone and lost, the music growing softer in my ears until I met Kuroo and Iwaizumi-san.

They said they needed a guitarist and asked me to join their band. They are a weird bunch but things turned out ok. We managed to secure a few gigs, although I was still having problems trying to connect with them at 100%. I thought I would never be able to reach my dream of performing live in a concert like you once did when I met Hinata.

He’s a bit of an idiot, not knowing how to play the guitar. He would just stare at the wall most of the time, not paying attention when I try to tell him things about our gigs. I thought I would go crazy if he just sat there and continued staring at me so I asked him to sing, and he did. And it was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. It was full of pain and sorrow, loneliness and cold. It reminded me of how I felt when I was cut off from my band, not having anyone I trust, although, for Hinata, he lost someone that will never come back.

I felt myself getting dragged along with him, trying to get him to sing and let out his feelings. When he didn’t produce any lyrics, I got so angry as to why he wouldn’t want to sing for someone he loved. I wanted to yell at him for holding onto a dead person, but deep down, I myself was being held back by the ghosts of my past. I thought I would never be free from them, but Hinata showed me the way with his music, and his light.

Kazuyo-san, I think I finally found the person to stand by my side. I’ve finally become strong enough to be able to have another strong person to meet me on the stage. It took a long time, but I got there. And also… I think I luv… la… I love that stupid idiot! I don’t know why I’m falling for him, but I’ve fallen for him and I even ki… kisu.. kissed him,” Kageyama blurted as he could almost imagine his grandfather laughing at him from heaven above. He had always been one to take life with a stride, accepting things easily and moving on without a thought.

“I don’t want to lose anyone anymore. I don’t want to lose Hinata. So… if you can give me your blessing, I will confess to him,” Kageyama whispered, the wind reaching to rustle his hair as he almost felt the ghost of a hand on his shoulder and a smile as his grandfather’s chuckle filled his ears.

_“Ah, my grandson has finally grown into a man. Go get him before he gets taken. It's not all the time you get to have a cutie like him.”_

Kageyama sputtered as he felt the presence go away, leaving him somewhat more peaceful when he heard someone clear their throat, “Am I interrupting a moment here?”

Miwa had come back with the flowers and cleaning supplies, setting them down so Kageyama could get to work in cleaning the gravestone. They worked silently for a while, placing the flowers into the bamboo holder and lighting incense as they said their prayers. Kageyama didn’t dare to look at his sister in the eye, hoping she hadn’t heard his confession as she said, “So, a guy eh?”

“Uh…”

“Well, if you like him, I don’t see why not. It's not all the time you fall in love with someone anyway.”

Miwa stood back up, creaking her back as she reached to grab the supplies.

“If you’re happy, I’m happy for you. I don’t have the right to get into your personal life anyways. And also…” she said as she tugged at her sleeve, “I’m sorry for leaving you all alone like that. I should have stuck around like a good big sister and made sure her younger brother isn’t being bullied left and right. If I had been there for you, maybe… maybe you wouldn’t have been so lonely.”

Kageyama reached out to wrap his sister in his arms as she began to sniffle, her soft sobs muffled in his shirt as he squeezed her tight. He had forgotten he was now about one and a half heads taller than her, showing just how much time had passed between them without him realising it.

“If Semi-san does anything to upset you, I’m going to kick his ass for sure,” Kageyama growled as Miwa hiccuped, releasing her brother to give him a light punch on the shoulder, “He can be a bit prickly sometimes, but he’ll live.”

Both of them chuckled as they grab the supplies and started heading back to the entrance when Kageyama thought he heard his name not too far away. As his head turned to the direction of the voice, he felt his heart hammer as he saw Hinata squatting in front of the grave, the black kanji of Miya carved into the gravestone as the smaller boy looked at him with wide eyes.

“Kageyama?” he said as Kageyama whispered, “Hinata.”

Kageyama felt a hand on his shoulder as his sister gave him a wink, scooping up the supplies from his hands as walked away. As she walked off, Osamu did the same with Hinata, giving the smaller boy a hard enough slap on the back he nearly faceplanted into the gravestone, Hinata scowling as Kageyama rushed over.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked as he bent over, Hinata groaning as he complained about how hard spikers liked to slap when Kageyama remembered he kissed him just yesterday.

“Hinata, about yesterday…”

“Actually, Kageyama.. I…”

“I like you!” both of them said together. After an intense staring match, both of them broke into matching blushes as they tried to organise their scrambled thoughts.

“I kissed you first so I should confess,” Kageyama yelped as Hinata shrieked, “Eh? Who came up with that rule?”  
  


“I dunno! I think it works like that!”

“We just jinxed each other when we said it together, Bakayama. Baka. Baka!”

“Boke! Hinata boke! Don’t go acting like it's my fault!” Kageyama snapped when Hinata startled to giggle. Kageyama thought the smaller boy might have finally gone little nuts when he said, “Man, this makes me fall in love with you even more.”

“Hey, that’s my line,” Kageyama growled as Hinata giggled when Kageyama realised they were squatted in a really awkward place.

“Oh right. You’ve never met Atsumu before, haven’t you? Atsumu, this is Kageyama Tobio. Kageyama, Miya Atsumu, my ex.”

Hinata said the words ex so casually that Kageyama thought he had gone a little mad when Hinata said, “I’ve thought a lot about it, moving on from Atsumu. After yesterday, I felt I had finally managed to let myself go free and embrace a new life. And that means you, Kageyama.”

Hinata placed a hand on his as Kageyama tried not to combust, his brain going crazy as Hinata said, “I’ve made my peace with Atsumu. So, if you don’t mind, would you go out with me?”

Kageyama was so stunned at how he had said it, so calmly in front of his dead lover. Kageyama turned to see if a ghost would appear and strike him down with lightning from above but nothing happened. Instead, he could almost feel peace settling over them like a blanket, as though Atsumu was giving both of them his blessing as Kageyama groaned.

“That’s supposed to be my line, baka,” he grunted as Hinata giggled, his orange hair curling around his face when Kageyama pulled him against him to kiss him.

This time, he felt as though it wasn’t rushed. Hinata felt so small against him, his lips soft against his as they kissed. Hinata reminded him of sunshine and life, of happiness and joy. Kageyama’s fingers curled in his hair as he pulled him tighter, both of them finally breaking apart when Hinata let out a tinkling laugh.

The smile on his face was so big and precious, Kageyama wanted to protect it for all time.

“So, that means we’re dating then?” Hinata asked as Kageyama nodded, his fingers twitching as he slowly held them out to Hinata.

“Just so you know, I never dated before so I have no idea what a cu… cuff.. couple does,” he stammered as Hinata laughed, reaching to intertwine their fingers together. His small hand was enveloped in Kageyama’s as they walked together, stepping into a new life where they were finally part of each other. As Hinata and Kageyama walked away from the ghosts of their past, they still remembered them as the ones who shaped their lives as they faced a new chapter in life.

_You will always be there with me._

_Always._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the Kageyama Miwa/ Semi Eita ship is random but since this is about bands and music, heck, why not since Semi is a musician now.
> 
> Thank you for following this story until now! I will be working on my other two fics (finally got some ideas for the Owari no Haikyuu one but going to focus on finishing the Hunger Games one for IwaOi. Have quite a few wild ideas for that one.)
> 
> Come yell at me on Twitter and Tumble[ @runningfromrealitytoanime ](https://twitter.com/Runningfromrea1)
> 
> Ave atque vale and until we meet again, sayonara.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this story, please leave some kudos and comments or hit the subscribe button to stay updated! Always appreciate those and they really make my day!


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